Dude vs Life

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[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

I'm with her... 👇

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@thomashaus46264 @commons96055467 Old bro got sand in his pussy... 🫵😂

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

We lost Patrick Stewart, where we should have lost Donald Trump...

The Universe is unfair

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

No European can understand these American work 'ethics'

[Abby💎 @Abbywillia69841]

I was four days into an approved week off, sitting on a rock at the top of a mountain trail, when my manager texted.

"Mandatory all-hands in twenty minutes. No exceptions."

I reminded her I was on approved leave. She sent a screenshot of a policy and wrote, "Skipping will be marked as a no-show on your record."

The only place with signal was a flat boulder at the summit, the one spot where my phone showed a single bar. I had paid $40 for the trail permit and hiked three hours to get there.

Fine. I sat down, opened my laptop, and joined the call with my camera off and my mic muted. Technically present.

Five minutes in, my manager's voice cut through the meeting.

"Jordan, I can't verify you're here. Cameras need to be on for attendance."

I looked at the valley below me. Then I looked at my sandwich.

"Sure," I typed in the chat. "Verification it is."

I clicked the camera button.

There I was on a boulder at 9,000 feet, sweaty, sunburned, hat on backwards, holding half a turkey sandwich. Behind me, the whole mountain range rolled out in the morning light, and about ten feet to my left, a mountain goat was calmly eating my backpack strap.

Nobody on the call said a word.

Then the goat let out a long, loud bleat right into the microphone I had just unmuted.

Someone on the team coughed, and I'm fairly sure somebody else was crying with laughter.

"Is that a goat?" a coworker whispered.

"His name is Gary," I said. "He's very supportive of the quarterly goals."

My manager started stammering about "making an exception just this once." I said, "No, no, you were right. Cameras on for verification. And here I am. Verified."

The director of HR was also on the call. She cleared her throat gently.

"Jordan, you're excused from the meeting," she said. "Please enjoy the rest of your time off. We'll sort out the attendance record."

She muted my manager for the rest of the call.

My private messages exploded. One coworker wrote, "Best thing I have ever seen on a company call." Another just sent forty goat emojis.

I finished my sandwich, packed up, and hiked down at my own pace.

Back at work the next week, nobody scheduled me for anything on my days off ever again. Two months later, my manager moved to a different team, and a new one started who said, on her first day, "If you're on leave, you're on leave."

I framed a screenshot of the call. It sits on my desk, with Gary in the corner of the frame, still chewing.

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

❓I don't know anymore what is more anti-semitic these days:

✅Saying "Free Palestine"
✅Claiming all humans are Equal
✅The Truth

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@hippyygoat Horrific

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@kgiselle653 Nice pic. Very nice pic

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@____GABE___ Exactly

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

The truth is so antisemitic 😓

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@NancySinatra If he doesn't send money to Israel, he'll have my support

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@LakotaMan1 I disagree...

I think he should go to Mars

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@Amy_Siskind Amy... Did you let go of AIPAC already?

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@Harvie3Culley You guys gotta impeach that Fetterman

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@GoUncensored The truth is so antisemitic

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@YourAnonCentral Trump will do the same on November 4

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

You wouldn't believe how rich America actually is...

They can afford to give kids $100.000 USD transgender surgeries at school by the thousands for free. And they just do it during lunchbreak

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@commons96055467 Appreciate you, brother

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

Feeling a lot of love out here today!

Keep up the good fight, people and fight 👊 for equality ✨

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@breanadawn_ Looking stunning, Breana 🫵

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

Politicians in 2026 only focus on dividing us...

But regular people just want to connect, to make friends and have fun...

Do we really need politicians?

[Dude vs Life @dude_vs_life]

@AdeleShoko That's fucking scary, sis