mom

I carried a watermelon

[mom @duh_nellll]

My mom asked my 7 year old what he would buy if he won a billion in the lottery. He promptly replied, "the election."

[mom @duh_nellll]

"Welcome, but be good," you say to the people who were already here but are now leaving to travel the world? Uh. Okay. This has to be the longest episode of Punkd, ever. Ashton, come on out now. We are over it.

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

The irony of Republicans controlling all branches of government while

bankrupting the country, starting a war, sending money to fraudulent programs, violating the Constitution, giving corporations immunity...

but arguing that the biggest problem we have is “stolen elections.”

[mom @duh_nellll]

Roll call!

[Trey Anastasio @treyanastasio]

Trey performs tonight in Buffalo, NY. The show poster is by Your Cinema. There will also be a limited foil variant available.

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

Wasn't Biden's plan to help alleviate student loans $300B?

Really happy we are giving that to Iran instead for funsies.

[Harry Sisson @harryjsisson]

WHAT IRAN GOT:

•$300 billion
•Removed sanctions
•Control of Strait of Hormuz
•Maintains missile program
•No destruction of nuclear program

WHAT THE U.S. GOT

•Higher gas prices
•Billions spent
•No major objectives achieved
•Americans dead

We got fleeced.

[The Lincoln Project @ProjectLincoln]

Need MAGA to explain to the rest of us with brain cells how giving Iran $300 Billion is different or somehow better than giving Iran $1.7 Billion?

Explain it to us like we're at a @EricTrump level of intelligence.

[mom @duh_nellll]

It's a moral failure that we changed the rules to create a trillionaire while teaching the less educated and less aware to point their fingers at those that are hungry and homeless and call them lazy and fraudulent.

[Melanie D'Arrigo @DarrigoMelanie]

It is a moral failure of our country that we changed the rules to create a trillionaire while doing nothing about the 771,000 homeless and over 18 million who do not have enough to eat.

[Travis Akers 🇺🇸 @travisakers]

Elon Musk: Trillionaire

Jeff Bezos: Billionaire

Public School Teachers: Can anyone help me get some pencils for my students?

[Covie @covie_93]

If you criticize 2.9% inflation under Biden but think 4.2% inflation under trump is no big deal you are in a cult.

[mom @duh_nellll]

So student loan forgiveness = bad
and
insurrectionist forgiveness = good?

Got it. 🙃

[Brother Bill @TheeBrotherBill]

Buffalo by far is the best at losing. No one loses in more agonizing, unbelievable and exciting ways than we do

[mom @duh_nellll]

Just here to say if something goes from $600 to $100 that's an 84% savings.

If something goes from $600 to $0 that's a 100% savings.

There is no 600% savings...unless he means he's gonna start paying us to take the drugs. That's one hell of an incentive.

Math is hard.

[mom @duh_nellll]

Wow Tucker Carlson does know how to say "I'm sorry" and just chooses not to use it when he says horrifying things about women, rape, and race 🙄

[BillsMafiaBabes @BillsMafiaBabes]

That’s our QB.🥹

[mom @duh_nellll]

Joshua Patrick Allen

[mom @duh_nellll]

Imagine thinking the flu vaccine is the biggest injustice the military is dealing with right now

[Sphere @SphereVegas]

📍Gamehendge @phish

📸: Rich Fury // Sphere Entertainment

[mom @duh_nellll]

What did you do last night? I spent the evening gathering ingredients to set a spell that should send all the men who are explaining the difference between website hits and individual people into a pit of lava 😬

[✧ @cessonmute]

412 women arrested since Roe v. Wade overturned.

0 men arrested since Epstein files released.

The child rapist president is still in the Oval.

THIS is how America treats women.