just me

just a little dead inside • my notifications stay off, I don’t care what you’re saying

[S @Shaliiniiiii]

my therapist said 'what would you tell a friend going through this' and I said 'get your shit together' and she went quiet for a while

[Neko @leandroneko]

SE VOCÊ É UM PERFIL DE RESTAURANTE NO INSTAGRAM COLOQUE A MERDA DO SEU ENDEREÇO NA BIO

[Culture~ @backriz_dub]

How it feels smoking weed by 3am while everyone asleep ✨🍃

[𝔇𝔢 𝔖𝔲𝔠𝔠𝔢𝔢𝔡𝔢𝔯 @De_succeeder01]

Stoner bedtime routine smoke a little, turn on a comfort show you've seen 47 times, point the fan directly at your face, and fall asleep before the episode ends. Apparently there's actual psychology behind part of that.

[zub thinker 💭 @02ZUB]

hours later and i’m still cackling at this. when have you ever seen another team do this for the guy who was legit the face of their franchise for years?? dude quit on us & the org just said “fuck you buddy” out loud. i love it

[6ɪx✦ @ok6ixx]

So i started dating this guy who's "really into birds." Thought that meant he had a bird feeder or whatever. Showed up to his place for the first time. This man has SEVEN parrots. Seven. They all talk. They all have opinions. One of them heckled me during dinner. Called me "the new one" in a British accent for some reason. My boyfriend thinks it's charming. I'm being bullied by a bird named Gerald. Tried to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend last night and Gerald kept interrupting with "IRRELEVANT" in that same British accent. The other birds think Gerald is hilarious. They're learning from him. I'm outnumbered. My boyfriend proposed last week. Gerald said "she'll say no." I said yes out of spite. Gerald has been sulking for three days.

[just me @duhhday]

@jkitsallgood @Bigballing52 @lst156 lol $50 a day. They start at $25/hr & you often have to hire 2-3 of them in CA

[n✰ @diorszzle]

doppelgangers always find their way back to each other

[stephanie @Stephabues]

checking hockeytwt this off season is just like hey this team hired satan and this team wants to trade the devil and this team decided to eat children and sacrifice their souls for the slight probability to win the cup

[judy hilarious @sagebeatlove_]

I’m calling a team meeting because what the fuck?

[katie @katieonleafstwt]

“no idea what four hypothetical teenagers will bring to the team but it can’t be worse than the vibes off this guy”

[Taco Bella @bellathetaco]

A dictionary

[gal౨ৎ @prtygal777]

the way the parents are mogging with that eyeliner lipstick and pose while their chopped baby is just there is killing me

[just me @duhhday]

@RhondaLO @ElRIcko20 Stores around high schools in my city don’t allow teens with backpacks in 🤣 some banned minors all together bc it’s chaotic

[DoorDash @DoorDash]

to everyone who saw my tweets last night... no you didn't. 😭

[HottyToddyStros @hottytoddystros]

I would def think the Olympic break dancing was way worse but to each their own…

[trash jones @jzux]

i eat popcorn like someone is going to take it away from me and then kill me

[zoe. @barzstappens]

Brandon Bussi, an UNDRAFTED goalie, getting a shutout in game 6 of the Stanley cup finals after sitting out the entire post season until 2 games ago.

[Carolina Hurricanes @Canes]

House doesn’t always win

[NHL News @PuckReportNHL]

⚠️ Carter Hart is the first goalie to concede 4+ goals in each of the first 5 games of a Stanley Cup Final. #ForgedInGold