“ailments? i’ll tell ya about ailments. wait till yur older. you’ll be layin in bed and shit’ll jump on ya and ya won’t even know the name of it.”
-bar patron
“if i was about to get married, and my best man said we were goin to myrtle beach on the bachelor trip… he wouldn’t be the best man anymore.”
#ShitCoWorkersSay
“i’m nervous. what the auto shop said they fixed, the warranty runs out tmrw. hope it’s fixed. if not i hope they honor it. if not it ain’t worth takin them to court over it. might be worth an ass beatin. but the ass beatin wouldn’t be worth jail.”
#ShitCoWorkersSay
“i’m gonna round up the strays outside and ship them in a shelter in new england. there’s a cat shortage there.”
“where do you get this information, and why do you care?”
“don’t worry about it”
#ShitCoWorkersSay
“i was up in the press box at the marshall game. everything was free. i was drinkin patrón. if it’s free, gimme the shit that costs the most.. if that makes sense.”
#ShitCoWorkersSay
“i sent a dick pic to my girlfriend and she sent it to google AI. it classified it as the north american inchworm native to ashland, ky.”
#ShitCoWorkersSay
“the drive thru safari in virginia is awesome. my mom got bit by an ostrich. and i fed a buffalo straight out of the window of that company truck over there.”
#ShitCoWorkersSay
“my goal for the rest of the year is to screw up enough things they just promote me to upper management. that loser couldn’t do anything. so they gave him a white hard hat, a radio and a clipboard and made him foreman.”
#ShitCoWorkersSay