Derek Wheeler

I x-ray things. still waiting on my hole-in-one. love cars, the @avalanche and the @reds

[USMNT Only @usmntonly]

This view from the flyover in Seattle before the USMNT played Australia at the World Cup is INCREDIBLE 🇺🇸🔥

(via caycewatson/IG)

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“ the other day i used dawn dish soap. if it’ll clean a duck, it’ll clean my truck”

#ShitCoWorkersSay 🧽 🦆 🛻

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“ailments? i’ll tell ya about ailments. wait till yur older. you’ll be layin in bed and shit’ll jump on ya and ya won’t even know the name of it.”

-bar patron

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“if i was about to get married, and my best man said we were goin to myrtle beach on the bachelor trip… he wouldn’t be the best man anymore.”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“i’m nervous. what the auto shop said they fixed, the warranty runs out tmrw. hope it’s fixed. if not i hope they honor it. if not it ain’t worth takin them to court over it. might be worth an ass beatin. but the ass beatin wouldn’t be worth jail.”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“in your lifetime can you recall it thundering while it snowed?”

#ShitCoWorkersSay 🤯

[Shooter McGavin @ShooterMcGavin]

Hey Canada 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“you wanna hear the most west virginia thing you’ll ever hear? that guy’s kid’s names are Hunter, Fisher & Trapper.”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“i’m gonna round up the strays outside and ship them in a shelter in new england. there’s a cat shortage there.”

“where do you get this information, and why do you care?”

“don’t worry about it”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“i was up in the press box at the marshall game. everything was free. i was drinkin patrón. if it’s free, gimme the shit that costs the most.. if that makes sense.”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Lauren. @LMac_1326]

Shohei Ohtani seeing the feds bust NBA Coaches and Players with illegal gambling:

[Cincinnati Reds @Reds]

FISH ARE FRIENDS NOT FOOD

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“sometimes i think i have life figured out, then my windshield fogs up and i have no idea what setting to use.”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“ya know 5th avenue? i built that wall in front of the ford dealership. all it did was flood gino’s 😈” -bar patron

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“i sent a dick pic to my girlfriend and she sent it to google AI. it classified it as the north american inchworm native to ashland, ky.”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“if you fill a piñata with ketchup you’ll never have to host a kid’s birthday party ever again.”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“the drive thru safari in virginia is awesome. my mom got bit by an ostrich. and i fed a buffalo straight out of the window of that company truck over there.”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“my goal for the rest of the year is to screw up enough things they just promote me to upper management. that loser couldn’t do anything. so they gave him a white hard hat, a radio and a clipboard and made him foreman.”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“well tomorrow sucked”

#ShitCoWorkersSay

[Derek Wheeler @durk21]

“why do we spend so much on clothes to impress the only people we want to be naked with?”

#ShitCoWorkersSay