Japanese man discovers the American potluck.
No, there is no ranking of dishes. Bring something that people will eat. Be grateful for whatever others bring.
That's it.
USA. A potluck. Everyone brings one dish. I have never been so out of my depth in my life.
I was invited to a gathering. "Just bring a dish to share," they said. Simple words. I did not sleep for three days.
Because I understood instantly what this was. A summit. Every guest, a lord of their own house, arriving bearing tribute. And tribute is judged. Tribute is ranked. To bring the wrong dish to the wrong table is to fall in standing before your peers, possibly forever.
So I prepared. I made my finest dish. I carried it to the door with two hands and a straight back, braced for the weighing of my worth.
The first lord arrived with a bowl of orange powder noodles. Macaroni and cheese. The crowd roared. He set it down at the center of the table. The CENTER. I noted this. The center is the seat of power.
The second lord brought a tower of small brown meat orbs in red sauce. "Meatballs," he announced, like a man laying down a sword. They were placed beside the macaroni. A strong showing. An alliance, perhaps.
I studied the table like a battlefield map. Potato salad: defensive, reliable, old money. A vegetable tray, untouched, clearly a hostage offering no one expected to win. And then a woman walked in, raised a flat box overhead, and the entire room turned and CHEERED.
Pizza. She had brought pizza. Store-bought. Still in the box.
I was stunned. She had not even cooked it. And yet the people rejoiced as if a king had entered. I revised my entire understanding of the hierarchy on the spot. Effort means nothing here. Only the roar of the crowd decides rank.
I placed my dish down, humbly, near the napkins. A peasant's position. I accepted it.
And then a man tapped my shoulder, pointed at my dish, and said the words that changed everything.
"Whoa, did you make this? This is amazing. Everybody, you GOTTA try this guy's thing."
The room turned. The room came. The room ATE. My dish vanished in ninety seconds. The pizza woman herself took a second helping and looked at me with respect.
I had won the summit. By accident. With a dish I placed by the napkins.
I understand nothing about this country. I have never been happier. I am hosting the next one.
So tell me, America.
Is there a system to the potluck? A secret rank? A hidden law?
I have decided there is not.
You just bring the thing you love, and everyone eats it, and somehow everybody wins.
It is the most insane way to hold a war.
I will fight in every single one.
Let's be controversial. Let's propose a parallel to the military but for women.
As I regularly note, the feminists proposition is essentially that there is one domain (human) instead of two (man and woman). Thus, they've eliminated many of women's institutions or failed to create them.
One example is the military. Feminists tried to push women into the military but this is a waste. They're not as good at it and it takes them away from more productive ends. Classic feminist "solution."
What I propose is a controversial parallel to the military: a surrogacy/procreation institution.
1. Women, 18 or older, sign up for a term to have children. No sex (artificial insemination or surrogacy only). Let's say 3 children in 5 years, or 5 in 8.
2. During that time, the women receive top-notch healthcare, fitness, nutrition, and education. They can study university (even get a degree) courses in a leisurely environment, and they live in a low-stress, comfortable location, such as a beach town.
Basically, they just hang out, do yoga (or whatever), read, walk on the beach, get massages, and give birth.
3. Once the kids are born, they're given up for adoption or for a specialty, high-end orphanage.
4. If the mother chooses to, she can exit the program and keep the kid.
5. If she stays and completes her term, she receives a lump sum bonus, such as 100k per kid, maybe more.
6. The sperm is gathered from men with elite heritable traits, i.e., personality, IQ, athleticism, fitness, and so on.
7. After this, they're free to go do whatever they want.
Obviously, no society is going to do this, but the question "why not?" After all, it's not controversial to ask men to die, why is it to ask women to give birth?
Polite versus nice.
This is a problem that plagues women, especially. Often, the two concepts are conflated. I'll explain the difference (and I'll throw in "kind" at the end):
1. Nice involves sparing feelings or making someone feel "okay" about something. It's "feelings management." This is a true example of the "emotional labor" that women complain about.
2. Polite involves not escalating or insulting. It's bare-minimum social lubricant, i.e., it prevents friction.
The common application of this is, as I discussed recently, in a situation in which a man makes a romantic inquiry. What is the woman obliged to, i.e., what does she "owe" (in the philosophical sense, before any hysterical idiots start hyperventilating and slapping their keyboards)?
Well, if she's being "nice," then the goal is to make the man not feel bad. She is concerned with his feelings, primarily. This is why so many women get pissed off about it (especially when mistaking polite and nice). They think they're being asked to put his feelings above their own.
If she's being polite, then it's not about his feelings. It's about structured clarity and non-escalation. In other words, a polite response is a response that he cannot deny nor can he escalate from. It's a sufficiently socially-approved of response that he can't point and say "look what she said." There's no gray-area.
Some cultures have very strict protocols around politeness, i.e., specific ways to ask or not ask. Japan is one example, but everywhere has it. In the U.S., that's largely broken down since the 1970s.
So, let's consider a man asking a woman out to a party or something, and her desiring to decline. What would a "nice" versus "polite" response look like? Then I'll throw in a rude one and a kind one as a bonus.
1. Nice - I'm really flattered because you're such a good guy but I can't right now. My life is just too busy.
This response doesn't actually provide clarity or certainty. It avoids a conclusion and even misleads by flattering him, thus sparing his feelings.
2. Polite - Thank you for the invitation but I'm not interested.
This response, is clear, concise, and impossible to misread, nor is it rude. As such, it doesn't invite or allow a further response. He can, and must, simply move on.
3. Rude - With you? Oh my God, if you think you have a chance with me, I must have gained weight.
What's happening in our culture is that polite and nice are being conflated. Women often "feel" this but don't fully appreciate the distinction. Again, this is why they react so badly to any suggestion that they be polite (same with kind, which is also distinct).
About kindness. What separates kindness from nice is that the goal is to give the asker the response that is morally best. It is an act of generosity. The problem is that it's riskier because it can offend. Here's an example:
1. Kind - While I appreciate the courage it takes to ask me out, I'm afraid that I'm not interested in a romantic dynamic with you and I don't see that changing. You're ten years older than me, which I don't believe is appropriate for either of us or society. As such, I must decline, and I encourage you to pursue a more suitable woman.
This exposes (in this situation, an age gap) him to the harsh reality of being declined, allowing him to improve himself, but done so without cruelty or callousness.
X is not the place for thought experiments... Even described plainly the points will go over the heads of most people. Commentary will generally consist of people who proudly beat on their self-righteous chests and condemn things without serious intellectual consideration.
@Pat_Stedman@bronzeagemantis Why would I do that? I'm not addressing his central theme but am instead considering the problem of parallel social structure.
You ignored that idea in favor of the far less meaningful and superficial element.
I wish to draw everyone's attention to how feeble these police are. They're weak and overweight.
The British people could, if they committed to violence, overthrow their government almost instantly.
If...
This is a thought-experiment.
My recent experience on X has convinced me to block stupid people. I don't recall which of my followers suggested it but I thank you.
Anyway, I've decided to use these types of posts to identify aggressively stupid or hysterical people, and then block them.
Let's be controversial. Let's propose a parallel to the military but for women.
As I regularly note, the feminists proposition is essentially that there is one domain (human) instead of two (man and woman). Thus, they've eliminated many of women's institutions or failed to create them.
One example is the military. Feminists tried to push women into the military but this is a waste. They're not as good at it and it takes them away from more productive ends. Classic feminist "solution."
What I propose is a controversial parallel to the military: a surrogacy/procreation institution.
1. Women, 18 or older, sign up for a term to have children. No sex (artificial insemination or surrogacy only). Let's say 3 children in 5 years, or 5 in 8.
2. During that time, the women receive top-notch healthcare, fitness, nutrition, and education. They can study university (even get a degree) courses in a leisurely environment, and they live in a low-stress, comfortable location, such as a beach town.
Basically, they just hang out, do yoga (or whatever), read, walk on the beach, get massages, and give birth.
3. Once the kids are born, they're given up for adoption or for a specialty, high-end orphanage.
4. If the mother chooses to, she can exit the program and keep the kid.
5. If she stays and completes her term, she receives a lump sum bonus, such as 100k per kid, maybe more.
6. The sperm is gathered from men with elite heritable traits, i.e., personality, IQ, athleticism, fitness, and so on.
7. After this, they're free to go do whatever they want.
Obviously, no society is going to do this, but the question "why not?" After all, it's not controversial to ask men to die, why is it to ask women to give birth?
@ChaosJardin@lisavsworld It's a thought experiment. The purpose of which is to better conceptualize the concept of parallel domains.
And you, @ChaosJardin, responded in a bizarrely literal and hostile manner. I've started blocking people for being aggressively stupid, so...
@andtwofortea I have. I just recognize that a handful of people on X, many of whom are third worlders, doesn't override decades of actual knowledge about how people think.
@andtwofortea I find this proposition to be highly dubious.
The birthrate issue is existential, not personal to most men (but to some). The idea that someone would care about an issue absent personal motives is entirely commonplace, especially among men.
🚨🇬🇧 UK Police just attacked protestors out for Henry Nowak with Riot Shields in Southampton
You can see the Police provoking and making the first move - Mass Civil Unrest is exactly what they want.