Dylan

semi professional asshole

[Dylan @dylan_blob]

I am constantly asking myself one question: how are my glasses dirty again?

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

cat when I'm snuggling him: I've never met you in my life. you bastard. you fiend. stop this at once

cat when I'm busy doing something and can't pet him right that second: Where Is My Kisses From Mommy??? Where Is My Snuggles And Cuddles That I Crave So Dearly. You Are A Cruel And Unjust Mother And I Am Going To Scream

[SPDRMNKYXXIII @Spdrmnkyxxiii]

Same energy.

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

uh yeah, he sure is

[beanzie @b3anz1e]

how did I not click on the sound button for the train dog video until now?

[Liv @Liv_Agar]

LeBron would never lose to Algeria btw

[𝓲𝓬𝓮 @be_like_ice]

My partner always put our cat in charge of the house instead of me when she leaves and to be fair Cashew does run a tight ship.

[Kraze @wannabekraze]

If yall dont show that other dog getting a treat i might burn this whole shit down

[𝒹𝓇𝒾𝓏𝓏𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓉 @drizzylitfw]

Cats have really played the longest game in history. Thousands of years ago they were like "hey if u shelter us and feed us we'll kill your vermin" and humans were like "yeah sounds lit" and now we still shelter and feed them but they do absolutely nothing in exchange???

[phoenix 🍄 @oldredink]

killed me

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

when i call my cat fat, i am not fatshaming him. in fact, i am fatpraising him.

[Happy Captain @EODHappyCaptain]

To be fair this is the same response people from the east coast have as well.

[lily @divinedelirious]

i should kill myself

[AB⚕ @AbsoluteBruno]

I genuinely don’t think there’s a better celebration in club or international football right now.

[Jordan K @JordykJordan]

Kids movies stopped being written by normal dudes and we lost this.

[gabe @allgarbled]

Every pro athlete talking about money is like, “the thing you don’t get, is that $35 million is really not a lot of money once you’ve spent it all”

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

Cats aren't uncaring, they're literally so affectionate they domesticated themselves, learned to mimic human babies, and vibrate if they like you. They definitely care, they're just brats with high expectations to be spoiled, which they deserve