Dylan DiMaggio

Level 6 bard in fantasy, so I got that going for me...

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

Few things are more awkward than realizing your zipper is down and then, that it is actually a button fly. #fumblefingers

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

Maybe hieroglyphics are just what happen when emojis take over a written language. #deepthoughts

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

@clmazin Is about at presidential as a duck.

[CommonGrounds Workplace @commongroundshq]

Welcome @sammich_shop | a bicoastal design + development studio based out of SD + NYC. Check'em out 👌🏽

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

Why do restaurants keep asking if I've been there before? Is there a radical new way of ordering food I'm not aware of, and need explaining?

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

#animal #facts all dogs are just sons of bitches. #TheMoreYouKnow

[SnowGlobe Studios @SnowGlobeStudio]

Proud to announce that our documentary "Lost and Found" will be showing at the Newport Beach… https://t.co/bqDZ2qikeo

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

@paulscheer & @HDTGM Nine Lives is on amazon prime these days. Talking cats, below average sfx, and five writers. Seems like a good bet.

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

#fact you can't hold more than 3 cucumbers in one hand. Don't even try, just #trust.

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

Starting to get those sweet sweet #twitterbot followers. Now algorithms can like my thoughts. #future_problems

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

@jaketapper @WaltDisneyWorld insider said they would have been done by now if the instructions manual wasn't written in Russian.

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

Seals can hold their breath for almost two hours & actually are just dog mermaids. #funfact #animalfacts

[Dylan DiMaggio @dylan_dimaggio]

Having no followers and posting is a more socially acceptable way of talking to yourself in public.