dylan

chronically typecast as unable to ride a bike (he/him)

[dylan @dylwack]

i genuinely think that the subway takes guy deserves prison

[dylan @dylwack]

there’s a traffic detour taking a ton of cars down my street — kim petras promo is crazy

[dylan @dylwack]

@chroniccryer that makes so much sense to me!

[dylan @dylwack]

there’s an alternate timeline where the mormons are libbed up and america is probably thriving tbh…..

[dylan @dylwack]

don’t talk to me until i’ve had my 3 cups black coffee, 2 espresso shots, 24oz diet coke, vodka red bull,

[dylan @dylwack]

definitely not the first gay guy to listen to american life by madonna at the madonna inn

[dylan @dylwack]

like what they marke it of

[dylan @dylwack]

what is water ……….

[dylan @dylwack]

what is the social media obsession with cooking eggs directly with the bread/tortilla what does this do besides burn the eggs 😭

[dylan @dylwack]

accidentally did manual labor in the Carhartt WIP

[dylan @dylwack]

thinking about a girl who shoved through the security line at jfk because she was “literally about to” miss her flight who i saw waiting in line for food after security

[Tyler Bindi @TripleNetTyler]

Pregnant lady on my flight told me she needed my aisle seat because she has to stand up every hour

I (very kindly) gave it to her and took the middle seat

She didn’t get up once

This should be a federal offense

[dylan @dylwack]

i s2g if @HBO tries to show me the terf hogwarts trailer again……

[dylan @dylwack]

when the hotel has espresso

[dylan @dylwack]

the artist i’m seeing tonight goes on at 1am

[dylan @dylwack]

Wearing Acne Studios at the neighborhood tool library

[dylan @dylwack]

i can tell i’m getting older because i’m becoming more going-to-bed-positive

[dylan @dylwack]

living the trout roe and prosecco lifestyle rn

[dylan @dylwack]

@soccer_momlegs it’s barely food but in a way i vibe with

[dylan @dylwack]

@soccer_momlegs god bless i’m #addictedtodavid

[dylan @dylwack]

@soccer_momlegs please where is the discount