chris

Happily married #1A #2A dog Dad
just a red neck that wants to be left alone
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[Gabriel 🌩️ @Countcristo44]

Black Wee Todds Vol. 2
Beachboons

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

😂🤣😂🤣

MEMPHIS BURGLAR PICKS THE ONE HOUSE HE REALLY, REALLY SHOULDN’T HAVE

MEMPHIS, TN — Memphis police say one would-be burglar is reportedly reconsidering several of his recent life choices after breaking into a home where the homeowner apparently takes the phrase “protecting my property” very seriously.

Neighbors near South Parkway reported hearing a man screaming around 3:15 a.m. Witnesses initially assumed somebody had discovered their Waffle House order was wrong.

Turns out, it was 28-year-old Derrick “Dee” Caldwell discovering that he had selected perhaps the worst possible house in Memphis for a midnight burglary.

The homeowner, Raymond “Ray” Boudreaux, is a retired corrections officer, amateur taxidermist and self-described “backyard combat enthusiast.”

So, basically, Derrick picked a house where the welcome mat should probably read:

“You Break In, We Both Have A Bad Night.”

Police say Derrick entered through a rear window, apparently unaware that Ray's homemade security system is set to what he calls “Armageddon Mode.”

The system reportedly includes floodlights bright enough to illuminate Arkansas, a speaker that blasts Ray yelling “WHO GOES THERE?!”, and the release of Ray’s extremely enthusiastic pit bull, Brutus.

Derrick allegedly made it approximately six feet into the kitchen before Brutus introduced him to the hardwood floor at a speed normally reserved for NFL linebackers.

Unfortunately for Derrick, his landing spot was directly beside a rack of homemade deer jerky.

Because apparently even the snacks were against him.

Ray told officers he came downstairs “calm as a cucumber,” wearing pajama pants and carrying a cast-iron skillet.

He said the skillet was “for balance.”

Sure, Ray.

Derrick was reportedly lying on the floor in the fetal position, apologizing to Brutus and possibly reconsidering every decision that had led him to that exact kitchen.

Ray allegedly looked down at him and asked:

“Son, did you mean to break into my house, or are you just terrible at Google Maps?”

Derrick reportedly replied, “Sir, I made a mistake.”

Ray said that was “the first accurate thing he’d said all night.”

Police say Derrick was cooperative when they arrived.

Mostly because Brutus was sitting on him.

When asked what he learned from the experience, Derrick reportedly said:

“If you’re gonna break into somebody’s house, maybe don’t pick the one with a truck outside that has a bumper sticker saying ‘I Wrestle Gators For Fun.’”

Police confirmed Derrick faces burglary-related charges.

They also reportedly confirmed that his dignity is already serving a life sentence.

Ray declined to pursue additional action, saying:

“The boy’s pride is gone. That oughta be enough.”

And honestly, somewhere tonight, Derrick is probably staring at the ceiling wondering how a burglary turned into a free lesson in home security, animal husbandry and poor decision-making.

Memphis: where even the burglars occasionally discover they have made a terrible investment...

Cliff Messer

[chris @dystrbd1]

@mcafeenew @RedLivesMatterQ Shit, I don't drink but I'm gonna get some tears 😭. Love it.

[Denise 🇺🇸 @NoDMsPerfavore]

STUDIES CONFIRM THAT THESE CHIPS, IMPLANTED IN A PEDOPHILE'S HEAD, REDUCE THE POSSIBILITY OF THEM HARMING ANOTHER CHILD BY 100%!

[chris @dystrbd1]

Mornin

[chris @dystrbd1]

Make this happen

[Denise 🇺🇸 @NoDMsPerfavore]

If MREs Are Good Enough for Troops, Why Not for Welfare?
What if EBT Was Replaced With Monthly MRE Deliveries,
8 Cases per Person. No
Misuse. No Luxury. Just Food.
Needs Met. Problem Solved!
What Do You Think About It?

[chris @dystrbd1]

@GOP_is_Gutless This is why we can't have nice things.

[Dangerous Thoughts @DangerousThinkg]

Just under 3 min of US Gun Facts

Show this to libs and watch their heads spin

[Nature 🦜and Music 🎶 @GuGi263]

Grandpa Larry is a 14-year-old pittie who's obsessed with fire trucks!
His eyes going from mostly closed to happily walking around was beautiful

[chris @dystrbd1]

Hahaha

[Bob @Bob_Dobbs_66]

@MyronGainesX

[chris @dystrbd1]

Hahaha

[Amiri King @AmiriKing]

What no-no word did Iryna Zarutska say before she took a knife in the neck?

‘I got me that white girl.’

What no-no word did three-year-old Julian Wood utter before he was stabbed to death in a shopping cart in front of his own mother?

I could go on and on and on.

If you are against Chud, you have lost the plot.

Wake up.

We are being hunted.

It’s open season on whites and Chud only magnified the problem. That’s what he’s guilty of.

Shining light on the low-impulse violence that has whites being attacked and slaughtered in unprecedented numbers.

Stand the fuck up.

Stop advocating for a demographic that wants you ELIMINATED.

DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
THESE PEOPLE DESPISE YOU.

THEY WANT YOU DEAD.

YOUR CHILDREN, DEAD.

When Dalton walks, cities will burn AGAIN.

WHERE IS YOUR SPINE?

Mice or men. That’s where we are at.

He who has ears.

[Amiri King @AmiriKing]

Never forget that white supremacy is the greatest threat to this nation.

I mean, is there a greater threat than that?

[Amiri King @AmiriKing]

The low IQ crowd is gonna hate this one.

But someone HAS to say the quiet part out loud.

Point out one lie in this video. I’ll wait.

[Eric Moutsos @realericmoutsos]

What’s in Store for New Cars and Trucks? Conspiracy theory or a conspiracy?

[chris @dystrbd1]

I can't believe how fast this country is imploding.

[Not Op Cue @NotOpCue]

@BabyD1111229 Full 40 Mins Nick Shirley Cali Fraud Expose

[chris @dystrbd1]

@AprilSpark1890 Who hurt you