luke 🔮

24 // sheriff sugartits #1 fan // i mean sugarwolf

[bullets lyric bot @bullets_bot]

Without a sound I took her down
And dressed in red and blue I squeezed
Imaginary wedding gown
That you can't wear in front of me
A kiss goodbye
Your twisted shell
As rice grains and roses fall at your feet
Let's say goodbye, the hundredth time
And then tomorrow we'll do it again

[soggy broccoli @soggybrocoli]

me: scrolling twitter quietly

my husband on ig reels next to me: CHUNKY MONKEY HIGH PROTEIN 200 CALORIE AHHHHH SPONGEBOB UNDERRATED MOMENTS HOME DEPOT FINDS THAT WILL HIGH PROTEIN DID YOU KNOW THEY FOUND NOAHS ARK IN TURKEY HIGH PROTEIN CHEESY MACARONI

[project hail evie ✰ @aspecwonders]

the moon could never be disappointed in you. the moon carried you in her cradle before you were born, and will continue to hold you long after you pass.

[rewkod123 @rewkod123]

when the poop cpome out spikey☠️

[O @AhnRee__]

I really hate how funny I find this smh lmao

[Brian @brian_rbts]

There it is, the triple dog. From the dare

[Nate 🐝🌹🇵🇸 @natemaklocklin]

Just got an Amazon ad about how legislation requiring them to actually hire their workers instead of merely “contracting” them is actually evil and will ruin same-day delivery https://t.co/9OYNkfwFGA

[𝓙𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓲𝓮⁺₊⋆🌙⋆ Genesis’s Enabler @jackieeleanor]

And we’re shocked some doctors are pushing for endometriosis to be reclassified a cancer because of the way it operates. But ya, do another study on the most attractive female body trait instead of focusing on this severely understudied illness. I’ll just sit in pain forever.

[drea ⋆ ꕤ·˚ @sicilianamamma]

literally if u don’t vote in support of this i will fight u

[Lucyy 🐑 @Churu_XD]

how i feel mentioning my girlfriend around my friends with relationship issues

[realyuriyearners @realyuriyearns]

still think abortion is cool? why not ask your...
aborted gf: i'm sorry you never got to cheat on me.
aborted homunculus: i would've wanted to be an outlet for your violent emotions.
aborted drake: you could've used to call me on my cellphone.

[the northern fucker 𓅫 @evilrelaysp0rt]

i came across this on pinterest and it made me so emotional

[ꅐꏂ꒐ꋪ꒯😈👻 @heis_Mike_]

when you finally do your laundry and all your top-tiers clothes are back:

[emme @basicallyedd]

a reminder from pim

[The Fruit Basket Cats @FruitBasketCats]

They made fun of her for getting forehead kisses from Mama

[Geraldo @voiceofgeraldo]

Lying about my birthday at chilis, getting caught, then escalating into a suicide by cop situation

[groupon lobotomy @colleen_daves]

new thrift store opened and is owned by a 20 year old dude who refuses to price things off ebay results and only charges what he thinks someone would pay locally, I hope he lives forever

[amputee!hinata @lenkagaminyas]

tried drawing brian griffin from memory and i almost got sick from laughing

[amen | PLAYING P2罪 @amen_handle]

unmute this video i’m begging you

[Amos Moses @angelpeesyrups]

weed before cider youre meeting the spider. cider before weed time for centipede