eastside

still cooking - prolific pontificator

[eastside @eastside788]

Jesus is a Sagittarius✨

[eastside @eastside788]

i’m at H-E-B asking where you buy the diarrhea.

[eastside @eastside788]

everything hurts my stomach

[eastside @eastside788]

I keep missing the laundry basket… It needs to be both further and closer.

[eastside @eastside788]

your Honor, I was hoping you would give me some of the Lord’s blessing?

[eastside @eastside788]

i’m not sharing as a threat. I’m sharing as an observation of self.

[eastside @eastside788]

I’m comfortable wherever I land.
Unexpected is my kind of magic✨

[eastside @eastside788]

“Are you dashing?”
yesss🙂‍↔️
Shuts door.
I still got that delivery
- so yeah, I’m fiiiine🔥

[eastside @eastside788]

just sent the “you up” text at 8:47

[eastside @eastside788]

“ if money’s your medicine, why are you sick all the time?”

[eastside @eastside788]

It’s OK, babe,
my shower goes hot and cold too.

[eastside @eastside788]

It’s pretty ballzy to have your daughter drive you and take you back home from a vasectomy.

[eastside @eastside788]

put smiley faces in your emails
that’s living happy and dangerous

[eastside @eastside788]

I feel alive but look like death. 47

[eastside @eastside788]

accomplishing life goals, rolling around in the grass being weird and neurotic.

[eastside @eastside788]

photographic memory….what?
it’s cinematic.

[eastside @eastside788]

did y’all know that a pillowcase is called a sham? wtf

[eastside @eastside788]

Me: so I’ve gotten hemorrhoids
Doctor: there’s a crea…
Me: you don’t wanna look at it?

[eastside @eastside788]

I see you nerds making out so your glasses can clink together. 🔥🤓

[eastside @eastside788]

I just blended it with my other Instagram account and it’s so misleading.