ezekiel

literal tax-evasion wizard

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

I have successfully altered my organ donor card to specify that my organs will be sold on the black market in the event of my death, and am now one step closer to achieving true libertarianism.

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

"Y equals, that is a sad way to start a sentence. Y equals, that is where my people-pleasing ends"- Anonymous

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

Petition to challenge minimum wage increase for fast food workers in California accompanied by free pizza when you sign!

Please share this

#minimumwage #california

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

The end is nigh ain’t even bad news at this point

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

Whatchu think thing 1 and thing 2's pronouns were

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

@singingfern23 Clean of course bestie

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

Everyone I know can be classified into someone with clean hands and someone who doesn’t have clean hands.

The way to tell is would you eat food they prepared with just their hands without asking if they washed them.

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

@maralohan God I wish I could read

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

Probably a common thought when seeing-eye dogs were a new thing:

"is that blind person following that dog"

[harley @Jester4000]

There is no problem that having a little pastry can't fix

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

Is the creationist view on Gorillas that God made man in his image, and then Gorillas almost in his image but if he were like super fucking yolked and could swing from trees and shit

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

me 🤝 Ducks

can digest all types of bread, too much can leave them feeling full without giving them all of the important vitamins, minerals, and nutrients they need.

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

Fighting for my life against these "no bitches" allegations

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

Imagine ur like 50 and ur kids puts on Harry styles saying it’s kind of niche oldie music and they’re surprised you know about him

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

Whenever I see a boomer comic about them hating their wife I wonder if some delusional old man out there thinks his mediocre ass could pull hoes if only he wasn’t married

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

@NuclearSolakian GRINDERS NEVER SLEEP 😤😤😤

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

“My strategy is to hold land in cities so that as land becomes more scarce and I continue to restrict its supply it’s value goes up! I can’t afford to pay property taxes because I’m not actually doing anything productive with the land. Taxation is theft!”

[ezekiel @easykeyhole]

Wine tasting except everyone drinks a full 12 glasses of wine