Eavesdroppin Teacher

This is a list of the verbal absurdities I have overheard in my middle school classroom over the last dozen+ years. Eat your heart out Shakespeare.

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

Stu: Why are there so many Twilight posters?
Teach: Well, it was very popular several years ago.
Stu: So was Hitler.

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“Chuck E. Cheese is my dawg.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“He has all the maturity of an 11-year-old.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“She’s working really slow. She’s like high-lighting like a little old lady.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“We need a fire extinguisher up in here because this place just got burned.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“Wait, did you call me cute? Ewww!”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“Could you please not use such big words?”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“Dude, she called you out. She said you had a disease called adolescence.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

Student 1: “She ate an entire bag of Kit Kats.”
Student 2: “I did not. I ate half of it. Then I ate the other half.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

Student 1: “I feel so special.”
Student 2: “Well, you’re not.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“Shut up or I’ll stab you in the neck.”
#thelist #violentmuch?

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“I was Jesus yesterday.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

Student1: “I’m moving to Georgia.”
Student2: “I used to live outside of Atlanta.”
Student1: “What’s that?”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“I bet if trees had Wi-Fi then everyone would plant them.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“Did you just say ‘hashtag’? That’s so embarrassing.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“I’m never going to jail again. They stole my cookies.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“You’re the apples to my spider sauce.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“My boobs look always… huge.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“I don’t like kids. You can punch my balls.”
#thelist

[Eavesdroppin Teacher @eavesdropedu]

“Every mom’s boobs in ______ are fake… except for my mom’s.”
#thelist