Lizzy Berdoff

skills include: talking too fast about: musicals, tv, space, breakfast sandos

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

So just to clarify: women are being forced to carry unformed cell clusters to term so that formed cell clusters can then murder them with the guns the enforcers handed him? Did I get that right?

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

When you’re not sure if @feministabulous CitiBiked past you, check for the goose satchel.

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

I just checked the definition of gaslighting and it’s just a link to Jax Taylor highlights @BravoTV @Andy

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

I just realized my therapist has never seen a picture of anyone I talk to her about and that’s so weird.

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

I’m late to McMillions but we’re all agreed that Special Agent Matthew is real life Jake Peralta, right? @nbcbrooklyn99 @thelonelyisland

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

If you take out all the screen time that goes to the cast greeting each other Selling Sunset would be really short.

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

Is Harry Potter the only reason you know there’s “no post on Sundays”, or are you abnormal?

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

The drunken "let's start a podcast!" is the new "let's open a bar!". Discuss.

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

The inspiration for writers on @obxonnetflix coming up with John B wrestling an alligator

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

Turns out taking a walk through an empty NYC during a global pandemic will still result in getting cat called. Stay excellent, male species.

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

Do we think Twitter’s new “manipulated media” tag is gonna start showing up on @BachelorABC trailers? Because I feel DECEIVED. #BachelorNation

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

Riding the subway after 10pm is interesting. The car has a solid amount of riders, yet I am the only female.
Funny this universal unspoken understanding to avoid this situation when men don’t give it a thought.

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

Ladies, it’s As Told by Ginger shaving season. #iykyk 🍂

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

I entered the Lottery for #PublicWorks #Hercules on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter too: https://t.co/z3t71rVjDo

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

To the man in business casual drinking a Bud Light tallboy wrapped in a Duane Reade bag at 9:30am in the Times Sq subway: cheers.

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

@WESHfulThinking I have witnesses. 😑

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

not-single people: So what's up with boys, are you dating anyone?!
me: Well this weekend I said "hello" to a guy at a bar, and he literally ran away from me. So, yeah I'm thriving. 💁‍♀️

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

@AudreyDevarajan Excellent question @AudreyDevarajan! I forgot to mention there was an entire film crew following this lil dude.

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

Some days the thing holding up your commute is a hamster in a ball rolling around the street corner you’re trying to cross. Because New York.

[Lizzy Berdoff @eberdoff]

Me: I really want to start dressing better and looking like I tried...

Also me: Wear that sweatshirt to work.