Elizabeth Weitz 💛

Writer. sometimes I do other things. happily married to @steven_weitz . on the days he pisses me off I pretend my spouse is Liev Schreiber. She/Her.

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

Gen-Xers have been training for quarantine our entire lives. No other generation is perfectly happy staying in their room, alone, listening to sad music & watching John Hughes’ complete oeuvre on repeat like us. #coronapocolypse #StopTheSpread #GenX #StayTheFHome #COVIDー19

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@CLINTOFFICIAL_ Can someone come and get grandpa? He's sundowning.

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@davidlubar I would rather take the Incomplete tbh.

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@iamalmostlegend It's a great way to figure out which people to kick the hell out of your life...and I also include anyone who attends these things as well.

[David Leavitt 🎲🎮🧙‍♂️🌈 @DavidLeavitt]

Who wore it better?

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@LexiAlex Every day is a new annoyance.

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@RealSpikeCohen The right fitting mask does actually work. If you are wearing loose-fitting masks that don't cover your nose and mouth without slipping around & are not tossing masks but reusing them time and time again, you are going to get sick. I haven't gotten ANY illness in the last 3 years

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@BuckSexton I really enjoy watching you doubling down on being wrong. It's hilarious

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@MikeSchlossberg If you're going to tease me Mike, at least put on some Barry White first

[Extra Strength Tylenol 🏴‍☠️ @MissesDread]

Looks like the red wave was actually just some mid-cycle spotting.

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@leeleykeel *Calls the FBI*

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@OhNoSheTwitnt My mother-in-law had a neighbor who asked her if my husband's horns were removed at the hospital or if they do that at home when they cut the penis off.

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

Full knee replacement surgery tomorrow. I'd like to say it's because I did something really cool and fucked it up in an awesome kinda way, but nope, I just have Rheumatoid Arthritis & my body is like "Bitch, you don't need this joint, fuck you".

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@scottEmovienerd Every guy I dated in the late 80s/early90s had a copy of Necroscope so I know that the series would have a built-in audience of middle-aged guys and their former girlfriends who were repeatedly begged to please read Lumley.

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@Lexialex I know this is true because it's so very, very stupid

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@dhoodson I really want to slap these women with a mirror so they can see the hypocrisy up close

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@nieshatrout Times Square hands down. I still have my double album that my dad bought me in '82. Suzi Quatro was my fave (Leather Tuscadero was my Happy Days jam). It is also my first Tim Curry intro...& The Cure...and badass girl crushes.

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

I thought the clock said 9pm (it was 7pm), popped an amitriptyline for insomnia, saw it was seven and now I'm playing "OHGODYOUGOTTASTAYAWAKEORYOUREGONNAGETUPAT3AM"

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@MikeSchlossberg @beezerism This is exactly like when I dropped acid the night before my college English paper was due & wrote 18 pages on the exclamation point & my professor asked me if it was a cry for help. I'm getting the same vibe this guy.

[Dee Phunk @DeePhunk]

RIP Angela Lansbury. 🌹 https://t.co/i6b5p9cSdD

[Elizabeth Weitz 💛 @ebethhasissues]

@____B_S____ I'm just gonna drop this here and walk away