Ariana Ebrahimian

i throw stones in glass houses.

[Ariana Ebrahimian @ebra17]

Congratulations Nutty! We're all so proud of you! #chapmanu #cu30

[Ariana Ebrahimian @ebra17]

"@refocusedmedia: So when are the guys behind The Jinx going to announce their Bill Cosby investigative doc?" @Andy831

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Last Line Of Obama’s Military Force Request Briefly Mentions Possibility Of 25-Year Quagmire http://t.co/voX3B47tD4

[Kurt Metzger @kurtmetzger]

Cosby issues public statement that he's "far from finished"??? Jesus dude, be more specific!!!! That's terrifying!

[Mo Rocca @MoRocca]

I bring the urn everywhere #FiveWordsToRuinADate

[The New York Times @nytimes]

The Swiss company said it did not know how Hitler's face ended up on coffee creamer packages http://t.co/3GFQk3wPTP

[Lena Dunham @lenadunham]

Meanwhile I just looked someone straight in the eye while dropping trash into the recycling bin, so save a warm seat in hell for me.

[George Takei @GeorgeTakei]

That's not how you Internet, Mom.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Experts Warn Situation In Gaza Will Get Worse Before It Gets Much Worse http://t.co/bVGhFDxa4A

[Funny Or Die @funnyordie]

4 simple ways to craft your own birth control using Hobby Lobby products: http://t.co/nrvpeFH6gL

[B.J. Novak @bjnovak]

This Mother's Day, give your mother the gift of broadcasting your love for her on a social media platform she doesn't understand.

[Shit Girls Say @shitgirlssay]

My mom's, like, my best friend.

[Ariana Ebrahimian @ebra17]

Congrats @lisapataki on becoming a #WhartonGrad!

[Marketplace @Marketplace]

Did you drop part of your bagel on the floor? Eat it anyway. http://t.co/FZwtULg57L

[The Ellen Show @TheEllenShow]

I want this little boy to come to my show immediately. I want to retain him as my lawyer. http://t.co/RtMFQlSkrc

[Ariana Ebrahimian @ebra17]

Some Russian snowboarder's silent act of protest forced Bob Costas to say "pussy riot" twice. Point: Russia

[Onion Sports Network @OnionSports]

Report: Thrilling Patriots-49ers Super Bowl Would Have Been 31-30 Right Now

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

If gridiron were a timeline, w/ Big Bang at one goal, then cavemen to now spans thickness of single turf-blade at other goal.

[Ariana Ebrahimian @ebra17]

Give honorary #GRAMMYs to whomever thought to put Sara Bareilles and Carole King together. <3

[Ariana Ebrahimian @ebra17]

Is Zach Brown auditioning for Duck Dynasty? #GRAMMYs