Erin Cansler

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

It’s important to brush in the morning. Especially if you have an Interstate battery. Corrosion can start at such an early age.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

I can’t remember from Driver’s Ed if covered wagons automatically have the right of way. Best to proceed with caution. Ad astra per aspera, fellow Kansans.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

I’m trying to watch a clip of Missy Elliott’s incredible VMA performance and my dog chuffs at me because I’m being too loud and it’s her bedtime. I didn’t know that much judgement could come from something that small.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

Producer fail: not creating a playlist before fireworks then trying call up tracks in real time while distracted. Sorry kids.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

I’m going to live forever!!!!
https://t.co/Ur9mga3KX7

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

If you’re really looking to take your workout next level then try popping some melatonin and working the Bosu Ball. Mouthguard optional.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

Welcome back, old friend. Two weeks missing after 18 years together. The universe is now back in balance.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

The bowels of nature poured forth upon me in what I shall call the devil’s facial. Some call it cleaning gutters.
To the micro organisms now living on/inside of me, welcome friends. We’ll have drinks later.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

Life lesson: if you let your pup out in the rain and she proceeds to try and eat the rain, don’t playfully imitate her. You’ll only concern the neighbors.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

If your mom doesn’t bring you the orange popsicles first from the box when you are sick then you need to have a serious talk with her about how committed she is to your recovery.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

I’m going to start saying “slowly, but Laverne” because I think Shirley has really had enough time in the spotlight.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

I did end up leaving the store with a dozen eggs and a negative strep test from the in-store urgent care center so it wasn’t a total waste!

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

Thwarted from taking part in 5 for $5 sale thanks to a bunch of cereal killers who plundered the shelves before me.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

Looking at the True Value ad and getting excited when I saw Fiskers Bypass Loppers on sale for $9.99 caused me to reflect upon all of the silly and superficial things that brought me joy before I became a homeowner.
I miss those days.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

It’s that time of year when I wish I had someone to hold
Someone to hold a shovel and clear my driveway

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

Fun Fact: 1 pound of 98% lean ground turkey is one serving.
Follow-up Fun Fact: I regret the final 3 ounces of that serving and question the legitimacy of initial Fun Fact.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

Been doing some ancestry research over the holidays. I believe I can trace my lineage back to the Brontomerus clan.

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

Go Chicken Go CHIEFS! #gizzard blizzard #kck #deepfried #billanddante #danteandbill #hashtag

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

Let this be a warning to all: shopping on an empty stomach can lead to poor decision making (such as turning this into a one serving bag).

[Erin Cansler @ecansler]

You come around my neighborhood preaching the good word on a Sunday, I’ll stand in frigid temps for 30 min listening to some verse. You return on a Sunday three weeks later at 11:57a when Chiefs kick off at noon? Be gone evil spirits!