Kooky Poot

Colonel mustard with the salad tongs in the serenity bed | PhD

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

I bring a sort of Dr Mundo throwing suitcases and Baron Trump I like my suitcase vibe to the suitcase store

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

Alright well ta ta!! When you miss me, remember I am in your heart (and wherever your body stores farts)

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

ANDDD don’t do anything I wouldn’t do but if you do, do it twice 😉

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

For my Catholic guilt girlies who need to feel it in a way: what is the fitting punishment for your crime? Ex- I treated someone I cared about poorly, I deserve to feel badly for how long? 6 months 1 year 2?? it depends how catholic u are hehe the point is it isn’t forever.

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

Also life changing: when you’ve done something wrong, treat it as a lesson not a life sentence. You don’t have to constantly feel guilty for something fucked up you did if you’ve tried to make amends to the person harmed and make living amends aka not repeating the wrongdoing

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

Life advice from a lady who is alive: It is worth it to fight against the pressure of society and your own internal stuff so that you can live authentically. You can act, dress, live, love exactly how you want ♥️ it’s so fun to be free

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

On that scientific note are any of you dermatologists Google does not think a new birthmark is possible but like that’s what she is it’s not a mole and it doesn’t look like melanoma hilarious tho if I’m like aww love and compassion reminder and BAM it was actually melanoma

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

A few months ago I noticed a new birthmark (what’s that science) it’s like perfectly heart shaped and I love her they’re seen as a sign of love and compassion which coincidentally I needed a reminder that that’s what is most important in life 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

Since we’re on the topic of books my fav fiction book I’ve read this year is Out by Natsuo Kirino which is crime fiction and my least favorite was The Lost which was shit from a butt

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

Omg wait I actually have something important to say

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

Also how exciting that you never know if the next book you read will be your new favorite #hopecore

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

Once had this bonkers group facilitator in rehab who told my roommate that he was a kleptomaniac and he asked me if I had ever been a prostitute if so how much would the money in his wallet get him…. I… unhinged human I would normally enjoy but sir therapist is not your calling

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

A lot of the people in NA with decades of clean time are like unshakeable right? You have a 70 year old dude clean 30 years not much is gonna phase him enough to make him pick up but you get that group talking about quaaludes they’re like oh yeah I’d throw it all away

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

If republicans are going to burn America down can they at least bring back quaaludes first

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

When I drank too much and would barf, she would sing me these beautiful songs in Chinese. She offered to let me wear her insane designer clothes and she hung garlic from the ceiling. One of a kind love u Maya

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

The coolest person I’ve ever known is my freshman year random roommate that angel triple majored with one being Egyptology and taught me how to say & write (in hieroglyphics) all my stupid requests like your penis is small

[Maffy @mttdchn]

i feel like i just read hieroglyphics

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

I’ve only crashed the roach mobile once trying to reach a ketchup packet for my McDonald’s French fry ahhhh good times

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

Almost crashed my car cause I was too into Aerosmith’s dude looks like a lady

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

An even more curious question where is Kansas

[Kooky Poot @ecargopant]

Why is colonel spelled like that