emily carruth

if u need me ill be making my rounds

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

WHERE IS THE FUCK FINGER BITING EMOJI???????? (WITH BLUSH) @APPLE

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

me next

[The Guardian @guardian]

‘Oh my God’: live worm found in Australian woman’s brain in world-first discovery https://t.co/QZ7ph1Lcku

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

gummy vitamins are so evil .. oh i can’t eat 40 of these????? that’s just toooo much B12???? Fuck you

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

does anybody else feel like the internet has kinda bad vibes lately 🤨

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

tbh if i was a bird i’d be shittingggg like all over everybody’s windshields just to be like 😝🖕🏼

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

there is NOTHING wrong with being a muppet person and personally i’m proud of it

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

popcorn should be its own food group if ur a hot bitch u would know it’s the elixir of life

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

sometimes i make jokes that are kind of lena dunham of me like sorry it’s not my fault i’m a young 20 something with a flare for sermoning to my roommates about the pointless inconveniences i’m experiencing

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

how am i supposed to pick between gay son or thot daughter i literally want both

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

when you graduate from emerson college you should automatically be granted a Minor in Lady Gaga …….

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

i wish i was a hamster so i could escape my cage and experience the Pure Bliss of running free loose boundless through a McMansion. my small rodent veins coursing with adrenaline. high off the thrill of answering to no Man. becoming ones Own hamster God

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

need me a meat monster of a husband 😔❤️

[The New York Times @nytimes]

"My meat monster of a husband just proclaimed 'this is AWESOME!'"

This Tuscan vegetarian stew has almost 4,000 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ reviews. https://t.co/oMuSDUGNAw

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

digital footprint this digital footprint that blah blah blah ummm i don't care. what are my future employers gonna do? be mad im serving cunt?

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

i know im ovulating when the piercing stares of LA's horniest dads and the inability to keep my Whore Mouth Shut are both at a record high for the month

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

if i ran into the cocaine bear we would've become the best of friends you guys just don't get her

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

i love when i can feel my hips go swish swish when i walk it makes me feel so happy birthdayyy mr presidenttttt

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

when u order uber eats and it arrives fast it's kinda disorienting like ummmmm u didn't even let me get horny for my food yet

[emily carruth @ecarruthh]

hey professor emailing you because i'm setting my boundaries and you can't assign me homework anymore because i don't feel like doing it :(