Em

I'll never be famous. I'll never be rich. I'll never be a twig-- but i will be happy with my life because it's mine.

[Em @ecb403]

@LibertyMutual…I mean…it IS a lot of money….

[Em @ecb403]

@caceecobb nevermind!! He’s good!! Get yo’self a drink!(or a bowl pack)

[Em @ecb403]

@caceecobb I know how sexist this sounds, and I KNOW you have a million things to do...but can you PLEASE bring @donald_faison either a drink or fully packed bong so we don’t have to hear him sob for the next hour 😉

[Em @ecb403]

So...I just don’t know ...🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ @CNN

[Em @ecb403]

A year ago. #Covid_19 https://t.co/J8gmAnkgJw

[Em @ecb403]

Didn’t think my “dirty thirty” would be because I’ve lost the will to shower....
#birthdayinquarantine #happybirthday

[Em @ecb403]

@AskTarget Nevermind. Your Cicero, NY team went above and beyond as usual!All worked out.

[Em @ecb403]

@Target I ordered drive up for my senior, at risk, self-quarantined parents. Is there a way I can send them the barcode for pick-up?

[Em @ecb403]

My survival tip for single parents who have to survive 24/hrs with a little, is to download podcasts and audiobooks and invest in some wireless headphones that allow you to just use one headphone. They repeat everything!. #survival #singleparent #SocialDistancing #StayAtHome

[Em @ecb403]

At least my dwindling supply of deodorant is now a surplus thanks to my no need of wearing it. #socialdistancing#perks

[Em @ecb403]

@KimKardashian There’s a story there... maybe he’s crossing a whole continent to get back his son

[Em @ecb403]

The ONLY complaint I have about #spinningoutnetflix is that they wear their SNOW BOOTS in the house!! So unrealistic 😛

[Em @ecb403]

@officeladiespod how DARE you tempt me into a podcast that ISN’T EVEN OUT YET!!! Don’t you KNOW that I need to binge-listen season one and THEN do the waiting game for season two while recruiting other fans? SERIOUSLY.

[Em @ecb403]

People compliment me all the time about my perfume. I bashfully admit that I carry a couple @Gain dryer sheets with me at all times when I’m at work. People can’t complain when you smell like fresh laundry. People can (and do) complain about expensive perfumes. Cheap life hack

[Em @ecb403]

@VaselineBrand Do you think this is still okay to use? Lol

[Em @ecb403]

@daxshepard Where is the fact check on Will Farrell?! Monica has been back for...at least an hour let’s goooo! 🙃🙃

[Em @ecb403]

5 bucks says @LeaMichele’s wedding is this weekend.

[Em @ecb403]

@SyracuseZoo...it’s 1045. None of the animals are out. What gives. It’s not super hot, it’s not raining...where is everybody?

[Em @ecb403]

@ChickfilA —wow. Tried your restaurant yesterday. Waited half an hour for a wrap. At 2 in the afternoon. Manager and employees were not helpful. Will continue to question why people make such a big deal out of you.

[Em @ecb403]

@NCZoo coming in clutch with Tylenol at the junction!! #miserablenolonger#nowthefuncanreallystart