Edd *Data Istari* C.

"A veces tienes que correr antes de poder caminar." - Tony Stark.
"Sometimes you gotta run before you can walk." - Tony Stark.

[Edd *Data Istari* C. @ecervantesp]

PEMEX es un mal negocio.
PEMEX es un mal negocio.
PEMEX es un mal negocio.
Escríbanlo en 1,000 planas, a ver si así se les queda.
https://t.co/ltvMcEJ0AK

[marqix ☆ @fwmarqix]

Professor: Who took my stapler?

Class: ...

Professor: I am not angry.

Everyone knows he's angry.

Professor: I simply wish to understand."

Silence.

Then one student raises hand.

Student: It has become bigger than all of us.

Professor: ...

Turns out somebody borrowed stapler.

Then lent it to another student, then another, then another.

For three weeks nobody knew where it was.

People started signing it.m, decorating it, naming it.

There was apparently a social media account.

Professor: My stapler has a social media account?"

Student: Almost 2,000 followers.

[The Shallow State @OurShallowState]

Dems should counter program Trump's 80th birthday celebration with performances by Springsteen, Taylor Swift, and Bad Bunny, have it emceed by Stephen Colbert, and name the event after Obama.

[Chumel Torres @ChumelTorres]

Lo mucho que le hubiera convenido a García Luna meterse a Morena.

[The Halfway Post @HalfwayPost]

BREAKING: A viral joke on social media to turn Trump’s White House UFC fight on America’s 250th birthday into the “gayest party in US history” is becoming real as hundreds of gay men are actually buying tickets and planning to show up shirtless, glittered up, and very flamboyant.

[Devin Duke @sirDukeDevin]

Ann Coulter isn't very bright, eh?

[Amelia 🇺🇸 @amelia_tweetz]

Imagine if a woman president crashed the economy and started a war with no end in sight, and her biggest, seemingly ONLY concern was building a ballroom and redecorating the White House.

[Sergio Negrete Cárdenas @econokafka]

Genio quien lo hizo.

[AXL @SirHijoDPuta]

¿Se fijaron como cambió “por arte de magia” el discurso de pedir pruebas por el de “injerencia”?

No me digan que no lo notaron.

[Enrique de la Madrid @edelamadrid]

Sabías tú que la cancelación de la deuda del aeropuerto de TEXCOCO (que no existe) será hasta el 2047 y que se está pagando de los recursos del AICM. Qué medida tan irresponsable y dañina para el país!

[Vanessa (El Sr. Panzón ®) @VMOSN]

Llegan noticias de NY y pienso...

Si la 4T logró que Pío fuera "inocente" con todo y videos recibiendo sobres amarillos, que Bejarano e Imaz fueran víctimas de un compló con todo y que los cacharon recibiendo dinero en efectivo.

¿Ustedes creen que van a aceptar algún tipo de pruebas sobre su relación con el narco?

Obvio no, ellos siempre son víctimas. Lo increíble es que haya quien les siga comprando las mentiras, el daño que le hacen al país es inconmensurable.

[Kristina @Kristina_AAv]

@krassenstein @HunterBiden Hunter Biden just clapped back perfectly.

MAGA spent years screeching about Hunter while Jared Kushner was cashing $2 billion from the Saudis right after leaving the White House.

Talk about selling out America — the Trump family wrote the playbook. Hypocrites. 😂

[Simons @Simon_Ingari]

Manager: We need to suspend Alex immediately.

HR: That’s serious. What happened?

Manager: He keeps coming to work dressed casually despite multiple warnings.

HR: Casually how?

Manager: Jeans. Open shoes. No formal office wear.

HR: Okay. How’s his performance?

Manager: Very good.

HR: Meeting deadlines?

Manager: Yes.

HR: Any quality concerns?

Manager: None.

HR: Any client complaints?

Manager: No.

HR: So what exactly is the issue?

Manager: He refuses to follow the dress code.

HR: What does he say when you raise it?

Manager: He says, “As long as I complete all my assigned tasks perfectly, I don’t think anyone should be concerned about my dress code.”

HR: And does he complete all his assigned tasks perfectly?

Manager: Yes… but that’s not the point.

HR: Then what is the point?

Manager: Standards. If we allow this once, others will start doing it too.

HR: So you want to suspend one of your top-performing employees over jeans?

Manager: Yes. Two weeks.

Two weeks later…

[David Wolf @DavidWolf777]

I can sense the fear and desperation of the #morena sectarians.

[Edd *Data Istari* C. @ecervantesp]

No es legítimo.
Hasta 65% de las llamadas de extorsión telefónica se originan en los centros penitenciarios del país, con mayor cantidad de llamadas de extorsión originándose en centros penales de:
Estado de México
Ciudad de México
Tamaulipas
¿Cómo ingresan los teléfonos y SIMs a esas cárceles?
Obvio los delincuentes no van registrar sus líneas, van a robarse líneas registradas (spoofing).
Solo requieres un SIM vacío, un par de códigos válidos y una laptop.

[Pascal @beltrandelrio]

¿Por qué no ponerle nombre a los integrantes de la “ultraderecha” estadunidense que quieren agarrar a México de “piñata”?

Fácil: porque implica hablar de Trump, y no se quiere meter con él por las repercusiones que tendría.

[Piper @PiperThread]

¿Recuerdan cuando morena quiso calificar una marcha como apoyo a García Luna?
Cómo se burlaron y crearon un cuento a partir de ello.
Pero ahora que literalmente marcharon para defender a Rocha Moya lo dicen con orgullo.

Incongruencia criminal.

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

MAJOR BREAKING: A federal judge in Washington just ruled that protesters criticizing Trump could not be forced to take down a flag reading “8647,” finding NO indication that the message could be taken as a true threat against the president’s life.

TOLD YA SO. 8647.

[Don Porfifirio Díaz @DonPorfifirio]

@PonchoGutz Peña Nieto le aplicó (terriblemente) a Aristegui algo muy parecido a lo que AMLO terminó aplicándole a Loret, Brozo, Ciro, Azucena, Carlos Marín y Ricardo Alemán, por mencionar algunos.

Y lo curioso es que ahora hasta Aristegui ya es “derechaira” según los chairos. 😂

[Edd *Data Istari* C. @ecervantesp]

@RGibsongirl But most of you guys are good with whips, right? Right?

[Edd *Data Istari* C. @ecervantesp]

@RGibsongirl Most of them were nutzies or similar.