You don't build a new identity by talking to yourself in front of a mirror, writing it down or thinking about it.
Sure, these actions may help, but identity is ultimately built through repeated behavior.
Repetition rewires the brain.
Every time you repeat an old behavior, eg. procrastination, binge eating, sleeping in, or whatever bad habit you may have, you strengthen the neural pathways inside your brain that make you do these behaviors in the first place. These neural pathways influence your thought patterns, beliefs, behaviors and habits.
But every time you do a new behavior instead of the old one, eg. doing the work, sticking to your diet, getting out of bed on time, you start to build new neural pathways in your brain, while simultaneously weakening the old ones.
Every time you repeat the new behavior, you strengthen the new neural pathways and weaken the old pathways.
But here's the problem why most people never end up building a new identity and keep staying stuck.
The more you try to change, the more your brain often tries to resist it and pull you back toward old familiar behaviors, because the brain prefers safety, familiarity and predictability.
Your brain can often interpret unfamiliar actions and behaviors as something to avoid.
And every time you avoid doing something uncomfortable or unfamiliar, you experience temporary relief, which reinforces the avoidance behavior.
And because of this, you keep avoiding the new actions, because your brain learns that avoidance removes discomfort in the short term, which gives you an instant reward.
This creates something called an "avoidance loop." And that's one of the main reasons why people stay stuck.
But the good news is that when you acknowledge it, you can work your way around it.
Every time you feel the need to avoid doing something new, acknowledge the fact that it's often just your brain trying to protect you from uncertainty and discomfort.
When you just do the thing regardless of how much your brain tries to resist, you start to notice that it wasn't actually scary or dangerous, it was just uncomfortable.
And every time you perform an uncomfortable action, you’re strengthening your ability to tolerate discomfort and act despite resistance.
The more you perform the new actions and behaviors, the easier they eventually become for you.
And every time you act despite that discomfort, you build evidence for a new identity.
You become someone who follows through.
Someone who can handle hard things.
Someone who keeps promises to themselves.
At first, the new behavior feels unnatural.
Then it feels difficult.
Then it feels normal.
And eventually, it becomes who you are.
And that's how you ultimately build a new identity.