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i only tweet when drunk

[The Vaccines @thevaccines]

@eddfarr same

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@HariboUKI_

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I think the haribo bear is underutilised in Haribo’s marketing @haribo does he have a voice? What is his personality aside from just pointing at things on packets?

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Piss finger sandwich 🤤

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@snoopyphils Fart smella

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Have you guys heard of chapple Rone?

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@Da_Rizzler419 I like it

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Everyone thinks their nails are normal and not weird but they are to everyone else. everyone is wrong and also correct. (yes I’m still on this)

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Everyone else’s nails look so weird and mine are normal, completely normal. and everyone else’s are different and weird except mine which are normal. This makes complete sense to me. And everyone has these exact thoughts.

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@kfRedhot 1/6 complete

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Yeah well my shirt has Four lions on it 🥱

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Homer dropped his doughnut (d’oh!)

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Maybe the Simpsons have xanthochromism. Something to think about

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I’m so Grogu-pilled

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There should be a month with 32 days idc anymore

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@snoopyphils Your future husband

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@snoopyphils 43*

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@snoopyphils 67

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I think piers Morgan should piers himself on a spike

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I can’t believe they closed the Debenhams in friars walk

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FUCK