Cardi B said, “I cried for 300 days last year and none of y'all called me up.”
And that hit home. Because this past year, I cried more than I ever have in my entire life. Silent tears, heavy tears, tears that nobody saw. I carried heartbreak, loneliness, and the weight of trying to hold everything together on my own but managed to get through it. Never Again!
A woman building an empire either needs to be single or with a partner who moves like a king, not a lost man chasing attention from the entire village.
After a breakup, hope often becomes a survival strategy.
Intellectually, you know the relationship is over. Emotionally, you keep a small candle lit for reconciliation. You replay memories, you ruminate. You can’t move on, not because you want the pain, but because the pain is the only remaining connection. Letting go feels like erasing the relationship entirely. And that feels worse than suffering.
The illusion is that you believe hope is preserving something meaningful, when in reality it’s corroding you. Hope keeps the internal version of your ex alive, the fantasy, the imagined future, the emotional attachment, long after the real relationship has ended.
This is why “no contact” is misunderstood. External no contact isn’t enough. The real work is internal no contact. Each time the internalized image of your ex appears, you interrupt it. You replace it. Repeatedly. Sometimes hundreds of times a day. Over time, the emotional circuitry weakens. Hope starves.
It’s a ruthless process, but a necessary one.
If your ex ever returns and finds you unchanged, still suspended in longing, it confirms their original decision. What brings people back, if anything does, is growth. Movement. A different version of you.
I think when you’re transitioning from being a people pleaser into someone with better boundaries, it can feel so strange — it's hard to tell if you’re being mean or if you’re simply respecting your own feelings, because you’re so used to putting other people's feelings first.
I'm so happy I was raised the way I was, I didn't appreciate it back then, but babyyyyyyy, the way some of y'all talk, think, speak, get over, scheme, lie back door & back stab... Thankful for the integrity, morals and dignity I was taught !!