eden

ed+sh vent account | 22 | she/her

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

i hate being an adult. like wdym i have to actually eat more than 300 cals a day if i want to be able to hold a job and be a functioning human being. i want to go back to being a teenager so i can just rot in peace

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

@zhaolc4 i hope you get better from being sick soon!! i’ve also decided that going without medicine is Not a good decision if i ever want to get over being sick haha

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

i hate being sick so much. all of my dreams turn into weird ptsd nightmares combined with fever dreams. so now i’m just exhausted but i can’t sleep unless i’m so tired i pass out😐

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

and on todays episode of my paranoid delusions: all of my medications are just placebos and i’ve been faking all my issues this whole time while everybody laughs behind my back bc i think my meds work when they don’t actually do anything

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

like she even refers to me as her dogs favorite person because if i leave the house while the dog is out it runs into my yard to come see me and follows me everywhere and i just love her dog so much i want it for myself

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

my neighbor has a toy poodle and she’s the cutest dog i’ve ever seen like i go out just to see if she’s out and with the dog and now i want to get one but my cat is like an only child and has separation anxiety and gets very jealous towards other animals that i’m around so :(

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

ill think i’m skinny and have a nice body and then i go on twitter and that changes that lol

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

i’ve been waking up around 5 am everyday this week (not bc i want to) and i hate it because i normally go to sleep around 2 or 3 and i’m so exhausted and the brain fog is 10x worse :/

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

i kinda wanna cut sugar out of my diet but at the same time basically all i eat are foods with sugar in so i feel like it’s impossible

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

i’m so excited i’m going to chicago in a few weeks for a concert and i’ve never been a) to a concert. and b) to chicago.

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

yayyy i’m finally getting back on my meds

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

tw/ sh pic shtwt
relapsed lol. first beans i’ve done in a long time was nice to finally get there again :)

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

my ibs has been so bad these past few weeks i hate it here

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

i need to get back on my adderall bc i’ve turned my life to shit since i stopped taking it and i’ve been gaining and it’s so easy to lose when im on it but i’m too afraid to call the pharmacy

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

nooo my dr wants me to come in this week bc i think she noticed i went off my meds but like only bc my social anxiety got so bad i couldn’t get myself to go to or call the pharmacy to get them and i Dont want to have to tell the dr that

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

omg i’m so happy one of my moms friends brought us pad thai and gai lan and eggrolls that she made herself and it’s sooo good

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

lol ptsd symptoms r coming back with a vengeance especially since he is back to living in my area. i hate it here

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

lol i’ve been off all my meds for two months bc all i know how to do is self sabotage and jfc i’m doing so bad mentally but i’m too anxious to call the pharmacy to refill my meds so i’ll just suffer ig

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

jk i’ll never actually miss being fat but like,,, i would’ve appreciated the extra padding that i used to have at that moment

[eden @edeneatstoomuch]

for the first time i miss being fat. only because i absolutely busted my ass today and fell flat on my back and now my whole spine is bruising and hurts but if i had another 30lbs on me it would not be this bad.