4 year old is a huge gandalf v balrog scene fan and he’s started standing in doorways blocking my path while shouting LORD OF THE RINGS! ARE YOU ALLOWED TO COME IN HERE?
looking forward to another great day working at the getting punched in the face factory where I get punched in the face for seven hours (one hour lunch break)
i say something embarrassing at the party and the room becomes silent. without another word, a swarm of crows begins whipping around me. lightning strikes, the birds scatter, revealing my half eaten charred corpse. a knock on the door. it’s me. “was that guy bothering you?” i say