eleanor franklin

MN

[preston @prestovision]

first wiseman: i brought you gold

second wiseman: i brought you frankincense

third wiseman: i brought you myrrh

fourth wiseman: i made you these jorts myself

mary: [to the guy writing the bible] don’t write that last one down

[Sophie Jansen @sophie_mhj]

when i was 17 my car started to spin out on the freeway during a blizzard and the only thing that snapped me out of my terror enough to be able to regain control was the chilling revelation that I didn’t want 2 Phones by Kevin Gates to be the soundtrack to my death

[Melanie @_melanieart]

“I have 7 stylists who put me in sweats and leggings” im cryyying

[ً ឵឵ @cIutchs]

me looking for my mom after she left me in line at the register to go get something and the cashier starts ringing up the items

[🌚A$CE.Boogie.No.Hoodie🥷 @young_ace242]

My guardian angel when she gotta report back to God about my progress.

[maybe: clare @clur19]

My god given talent is being able to look at a girl and tell you if she was a Japanese Cherry Blossom girl or a Sweet Pea girl in middle school.

[Noah Evangelista @Evangelista_n1]

I hate texting/calling, just Venmo me.

[Moopes @Moopes17]

Carrie Underwood: “he's probably buying her some fruity little drink
'cause she can't shoot whiskey”

8 yr old me: wow how embarrassing

[Zach Svobodny @ZachSvobodny]

So I lost my ID this wkend & now have a temporary ID. I just went to QT & bought some white claws & the temporary didn’t work so the cashier scanned his own ID & said “ain’t no laws when you’re drinking claws.” Then the cops came in& arrested the cashier& he’s now facing a felony

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Small town midwesterners be like “let’s drive around”

[david @_elvishpresley_]

[first day as a pilot]

control tower: what are your coordinates

me: I’m by a cloud that looks like a lion

control tower: can you be more specific

me: simba

[NomaRetweets 💀 @TravelLoy]

We‘ve been alive for too long