Erkekler sevilmeyi ve değer görmeyi genellikle "ne sağlayabildikleriyle" doğru orantılı görürler. "Ben sadece ben olduğum için sevilmeye layık mıyım?" sorusunu kendilerine sormaya korkarlar. Bu yüzden cebi boşaldığında ya da kariyeri kötüye gittiğinde partnerinden, arkadaşlarından ve sosyal hayattan tamamen uzaklaşır, içine kapanır. Çünkü kafasındaki koda göre: "Başarısız bir erkek, sevilmeyi hak etmez."
Breakups often hit men harder than women.
Men tend to bond later and deeper. Early in a relationship, men often remain relatively independent, while women integrate emotionally and socially sooner. But once a man commits, he reorganizes his life around that bond. His partner becomes his primary source of emotional intimacy, identity stability, and future orientation, which allows him to narrow his focus elsewhere, often toward work or mission.
Women, by contrast, usually maintain broader emotional networks and rehearse separation psychologically long before the relationship formally ends. By the time the breakup happens, much of the grieving has already occurred internally. For men, the loss is sudden. The structure collapses all at once.
This is why men often appear “fine” at first and unravel later, while women appear devastated early and recover faster. It’s timing and attachment architecture.
Men don’t just lose the person. They lose the organizing principle of their life.
#EHRD#PembelaHAM
VIAN RUMA, seorang guru, Pembela HAM Lingkungan Hidup (EHRD) asal NTT, ditemukan tewas dengan leher terikat pada 5 September 2025.
Vian bukanlah yg pertama. Satya Bumi merangkum beberapa nama EHRD Indonesia dgn nasib serupa bbrp tahun terakhir.
For some people this so called movement just a fun project to add to their portfolio. For the rest of us working class it's a reality. Nearly everyday i saw the society crumbling around me, children are sick and wither, their parents got snared in poverty and joblessness.