Carrie Loveurwood

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

My level of laziness: texts ppl "what's the weather like" instead of getting off my bed to look out the window

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

Watching someone on LSD talk to someone stoned is actually so funny to watch

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

Me:*working in a wood mill*
Boss: okay everyone the wood is coming get in your positions
Everyone: *goes to stations*
Me: *gets on knees* Ohhh u meant the work wood my bad

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

2 girls showed me their boobs at the bar last night, nice.

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

Forget Jenny from the block, can we talk about Rachel from the pub

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

@maddiegrxce You and your new toned bod got this boo!

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

My inner @iamcardib is coming out again bc bitch its almost summerrrrrrr

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

I just wanna live in the south...

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

I wish i could find a guy that fucks me as good as life does.

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

Me: I went for,a,walk this,morning
My sister in law: omg get your skinny on girl I love it
Me: well I mean I had to walk,back to the bar to get my,car....

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

Me: heyyy boo I'm on my wayyy
Gay future BD: omg just pop a xan and drinking try to find me *hangs up*

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

Im bombed. Thank god Jesus turned water into wine #blessed

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

5:11am was compared to a match box car

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

@alana6598 I'm on water now, but its also my day off and Garrett said he wants to have a drink.... Oh boy

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

I'm shitting blood but won't go to the doctors bc I want to die hopefully this speeds up the process. #lawdtakemenow

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

@alana6598 I 10 out if 10 was still bombed when I posted this. Talk about TMI

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

Monday was the drunkest ive ever been in my life. All about setting new goals for myself #newPR

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

Honestly... I'm just tryna get cross faded

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

I've always been a stress eater

[Carrie Loveurwood @ehoffman2497]

I hate a "sorry its been a while" ass dude