crosbie

shut up & listen to me

[crosbie @eibsorc]

At the plant store cracking every bone in my body to make the plants jealous. They are probably thinking “ohhhh i bet it feels so good i wish i could do that” but they don’t have bones so they can’t.

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Do you accept SpitOnThatThangcoin?

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Spit on that thang coin

[kart @strawbrryk8]

Ive been training my pelvic floor to kill people

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Call him Martin the way he short

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Coffee shop celebrity everyone knows my order AND my name AND they want to fuck me

[crosbie @eibsorc]

A vampire ruined my weekend

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Just watched a girl drop her beauty blender on the floor of the subway car then proceeded to use it on her face

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

I'm the cunt of the litter

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Guy coming over to peel my thighs

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Feeling up every avocado in the grocery store tonight

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Withdrawing from casino :(

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Suck an elf

[crosbie @eibsorc]

going live on citizen tonight to film all the crime & i mean all of it

[crosbie @eibsorc]

God loves sending me to the office after a self deprecating weekend & then he kills my last living grandparent

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Do. Not. Drop. That. Thun. Thun. Thun.

[crosbie @eibsorc]

another night reading the dictionary of slang

[crosbie @eibsorc]

shut up birds

[crosbie @eibsorc]

Sunday night shower beer is about to make me do a little dance

[crosbie @eibsorc]

What’s the opposite of a pedophile like when kids are attracted to me