Isabel Herrman

The most interesting cat lady in the world. Writer, comedian, artist, and professional smooth talker. Last living bourgeoisie.

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

@InternetH0F It was the 90s. This house only cost $50k.

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

@DaneCook Apparently it’s promo for @TopGunMovie. Just Tom being Tom.

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

Hey @wtchippendales @hulu … you know something about the calendar I don’t?

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

Dating advice: if you want to eat someone out, make sure you feed them well.

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

I love my niece(s) and nephew so so much. Getting to spend time with them is amazing joy. And the monstrous school shootings are hitting me really hard today. To think, they have to practice being shot at. So sad America #GunReformNow

[KATY PERRY @katyperry]

“Baby you’re a firework” is a 10 but women in the US have fewer rights than an actual sparkler smh

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

I’d be a lot more personally upset about abortion bans, but I can’t even get a guy to date me.

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

Happy birthday @elonmusk !! I hope you get the @pawpatrol cake you asked for!

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

The real issue is that @Republicans are just mad Ranch is not one of the 23 @drpepper flavors.

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME? The NRA announced that guns will be banned at their Houston event this week featuring donald trump.

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

At Homedepo looking at ropes. Wow, they really do come in fun colors. Can’t help but to imagine hanging from one, but like… make it fashion. #darkhumor

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

@dillondavis3 Hopefully on the Kansas side of the state line 🥰

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

What if a fetus is aborted, but kept alive in a science tube and sold to the deep state to eat at their dinners. Would save @Wayfair a lot of bad press. #winwin

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

@mattgaetz @mattgaetz forces blow jobs from his dog.

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

A bit confused right now @HomeDepot , was told your cutting machine isn’t working… isn’t your whole thing fixing things?

[Kansas Jayhawks @KUAthletics]

YOUR KANSAS JAYHAWKS ARE THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONS 🏆

[Kansas Men’s Basketball @KUHoops]

Your 2022 National Champions...🏆

HAS A NICE RING TO IT 😁

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

Y’all upset about that slap, meanwhile Jack Skellington just stole Easter #Oscars2022 @RealChalamet

[Isabel Herrman @eihawk]

@jadapsmith GI Jane is a bad ass woman, so are you. ♥️ compliments all the way!