Ernie Park

Co-founder @lizzysleepapp - sleep training babies is good for the whole family.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@DerekFeehrer The different UI focuses are really nice 🔥

[Ernie Park @eipark]

In this tweet: strawmen, hand waving, false dichotomies, fear mongering.

“I’m a doctor and there’s no data on this but I’m just gonna guess this is bad and make a link to mental health issues”

When my kids are asleep 🧵 incoming on why this is such a ridiculous tweet.

[Dr Danish @operationdanish]

What if the “Cry It Out” sleep training (aka extinction-based sleep training) has contributed to mental health issues in young people?

In some ways, it’s the most insane thing to do to a child (and is based on incredibly poor science). For centuries, families co-slept without issues, but in modern times, it has become increasingly taboo… why?

How can repeated emotional non-response to a baby be healthy? What does it do to their stress calibration, attachment expectations, and self-regulation? How does it play out in their long term relationships and social connections?

I’ve read the studies and they are poorly designed and weakly supported. Yet, we have an entire generation of parents that blindly follow this insane protocol without reviewing the data themselves.

To be fair, the data supporting co-sleeping is weak as well, but it has centuries of precedent so I feel much more comfortable supporting that than a new approach that was largely instituted since the 1920s.

For some context, in the 20th century, behaviorist John Watson (1928), interested in making psychology a hard science, took up the crusade against affection as president of the American Psychological Association. He applied the paradigm of behaviorism to childrearing, warning about the dangers of “too much mother love”. The 20th century was the time when “science" was assumed to know better than mothers, grandmothers, and families about how to raise a child. Too much kindness to a baby would result in a whiney, dependent, failed human being.

A government pamphlet from the time recommended that "mothering meant holding the baby quietly, in tranquility-inducing positions" and that "the mother should stop immediately if her arms feel tired" because "the baby is never to inconvenience the adult." A baby older than six months "should be taught to sit silently in the crib; otherwise, he might need to be constantly watched and entertained by the mother, a serious waste of time."

The truth is the opposite. We now know that ignoring a child raising cortisol levels and hurts trust and attachment. Yet, every young parent I know today has been brainwashed to let their child cry in silence. It’s truly wild.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

This could be the single most Hacker News comment of all time.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@ernsterlanson Understood. I think this question is based on myths of what sleep training is and what the alternatives are.

Parents worry, naturally, that sleep training is cruel and the alternatives aren’t. In reality babies cry a lot to sleep and sleep worse usually when not sleep trained

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@ernsterlanson Also, sleep training for most is removing sleep associations like feeding or rocking.

Babies who never form these associations (like my second kid) pretty much can be sleep trained with minimal crying from just building positive routines and independent sleep skills early.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@ernsterlanson There have been studies that show there’s no harm in attachment from sleep training in young kids.

Anecdotally also, you can see sleep trained kids (and families) are well rested which is good for everyone’s health.

Crying hard but done right sleep training is quick.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@theryandreyer Same. When I saw friends struggling and not having their evenings I knew it wasn’t sustainable for us.

Hence sleep training and then building @lizzysleepapp to help other parents do the same.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@DerekFeehrer

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@FounderKyle 🤚

[Ernie Park @eipark]

Most baby apps prey on your anxiety rather than help you as a parent.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@ankurnagpal Guide

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@Baconbrix I want this for the docs but for sdk upgrades.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@NielsHoven how do you think about the sort of 'matrix' between academics x social/emotional growth between all those options?

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@YIMBYLAND Tracking helpful for first few weeks but not as necessary after.

For sleep check out @lizzysleepapp. Less tracking more sleeping.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@ClickingSeason As someone who has seen hundreds of families try to do this - this is correct.

With the exception of health issues, or EXTREME outliers, all babies are capable of sleeping independently without developing attachment issues.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@Baconbrix @expo Any plans to have something like this built into expo?

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@wanyeburkett Depends. How do you define success?

If it works for your family and you do it safely, great!

But many families co sleep bc they can’t figure out independent sleep. Marriages suffer. Everyone sleeps worse. Parents lose alone time. And it’s hard.

It’s not binary.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

Cancellable take: dads are better at sleep training than moms.

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@RizomaSchool Any hard stance on baby sleep is cope.

Also if you reduce sleep training to “baby screaming alone in a dark room is normal” you don’t actually understand independent sleep and it sounds like your own cope for wanting to co sleep (which is fine if you do it safely).

[Ernie Park @eipark]

@JhanHky So close…