em

[Sam ☽ @somegrlsam]

When are men going to realize the best friend is doing exactly that the woman you’re hitting on wants her to do.

[wendell sandico @wendellsandico]

there should be a word for when it’s a nice day out and you feel guilty about not going for a walk

[Fav ⛧ @Favwontmiss]

i fear the hottest relationship dynamic is when a woman acts like a chaotic creature and the man finds it deeply amusing instead of spiritually exhausting

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

We are very close to reaching the most American sentence ever made

[autist @litteralyme0]

When the depression wears off and you realize you're lowkey goated

[scumxog @xoghostpilled]

how to teach my cat his home address

[Brooklyn @bklynb4by]

imagine reading this tweet 10 years ago

[She-Rage, Princess of Pain @ClaireMax]

They no longer make this flavor because the majority of red bull drinkers aren’t allowed grapefruit

[talia @taliasbonnin]

Put me unmedicated in a room with RFK Jr. for 30 mins and he’ll come out saying we need Lexapro in the drinking water

[໊ @wynavira]

FUCKKKKKKK what if something bad happened and i forgot to worry about it

[Softboy @softboywin]

I’ve never contributed to traffic in my entire life that’s all on y’all

[Kam @PatsKam]

Please don’t bring the buffalo chicken dip if you’re using canned chicken. Yes, you can tell. The sauce, cheese, and ranch can’t cover up that taste 😭

[daniela molloy @diandrasdiandra]

the concept of 60 minutes australia sending out their hottest reporter as a way to play mind games with the looksmaxer

[MeidasTouch @MeidasTouch]

Bad Bunny’s closing messages during his Super Bowl performance:

“The only thing more powerful than hate is love”
“Together, we are America”

[culture @notgwendalupe]

those 20 seconds when La Gasolina started playing #SuperBowl

[gabb @gabbgoudy]

cancel the second half and let bad bunny do the full tour set list

[Reginald Spears @ReginaldSpears]

I may have to retire when I’m 129 but at least there’s a new Turnpike Troubadours album coming this week.