Guard Duck

Ship Grad | Dad | Motorcycles | Gamer | Poor Skateboarder | Fantasy Football | Burrito Enthusiast | Cryptids | Likely Daydreaming | Double Nickels on the Dime

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

Last Friday in Washington D.C., the city's elementary school students pledged to stay drug free - as a gift to their moms on Mother's Day.

Meanwhile, DC Mayor Marion Berry...

(the audience laughs prematurely, cause they know where this one is going. It's a crack joke. But Norm's going to zig when they expect him to zag.)

... got HIS mom a great big box of chocolates.

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@superhumman1234 Enjoying nature. Good for ones’ mental health. Whoop whoop!

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@AndyHolloway @TheFFBallers @FFHitman @JasonMoore Thanks! Appreciate it!

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@TheFFBallers @FFHitman @AndyHolloway @JasonMoore hey gents! In your league of record format is the draft linear ? Found the post with other LOR info but always wondered that one. Thanks for all your work!

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@PaulCharchian The various insane artwork around Denver is quite a show as well… I think they’ve removed much of it … like nutty conspiracy theory end of the world kinda stuff 😂

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@FFHitman Mike be like this all season

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@FFHitman SZN of Mike continues !

[Poetic Outlaws @OutlawsPoetic]

"Critics are men who watch a battle from a high place then come down and shoot the survivors."

~ Ernest Hemingway

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@ProFootballTalk Taco Bell, Burger King, and the Titans

[Natural Philosophy @Naturalphilosy]

“The only thing an old man can tell a young man is that it goes fast, real fast, and if you’re not careful it’s too late. Of course, the young man will never understand this truth.”

— Norm Macdonald

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@PaulCharchian Fullbacks forever!

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@90sWWE Sid was far better and more accomplished than ppl give him credit for

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@FFHitman @Ihartitz

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@AustinAbbott @SportMDAnalysis Kittle (cle / weather) or Juwan Johnson v MIA (.5 PPR)

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@PaulCharchian Fullbacks do the heart good 👊

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@PapaJoshFFB https://t.co/cY1szjH5Xb

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@PapaJoshFFB I’ll give ya two…. https://t.co/lkQ6O3hmMz

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

And finally, next Thursday, Americans everywhere will celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving.

Or, as turkeys refer to it:

"Murder Day."

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@PFF New ownership 😂

[Guard Duck @elGuardDuck]

@DBro_FFB Much appreciation D’Bro !