elaine oyzon(-mast)

try me on, I'm very you -- deee-lite

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

@bobprokop #rahsaanpatterson playing.

[Tomer Hanuka @tropical_toxic]

I’ve asked my 3rd year illustration students at @sva to come up with a post-pandemic New Yorker magazine cover. Here is what they sent in:

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

@katieoconnoresq Aurora Lindt

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

"Daylight Savings Time is stupid," says my tired, addled brain.

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

My sister's post-surgical care evidently consists of meds, ice packs, and getting her caught up on every single episode ever of #RuPaulsDragRace

[Emily Ramshaw @eramshaw]

Suddenly, today, I panicked about life inching back toward “normal.”

I don’t want to travel endlessly for work. I don’t want my weekends to be over-committed with activities. I don’t want to miss bedtime with my kid. I don’t want to wear blazers — or, hell, even shoes.

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

Death by cat allergies. Is that a thing? It feels like a thing.

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

Loud, pretty, troublesome high-maintenance girl on the plane just got a drink spilled on her, and I now believe in God.

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

Vaccination cards are the new "I Voted" stickers.

[Entertainment Weekly @EW]

#KevinCanFHimself trailer shows @AnneFrances shatter the image of a perfect sitcom wife. https://t.co/1OlSwq02VO

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

I took a shower today, and did my hair and make-up just because. Weird.

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

@LassoOrlandodi ALL of them.

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

How do you measure time now that it no longer has any meaning? I go from meal to meal and episode to episode.

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

Hot flash pro-tip: some hair dryers have a cold-shot button.

[Sarah Smith 🦙 @sarahesmith23]

𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 — 𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑛 — a state of being in which you are employed and healthy during a pandemic but you're also tired and depressed and feel like trash all the time

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

As my friend @postmodernpeach said to me today, I'm looking forward to precedented times.

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

@RoobsC Vienna sausages cooked in the can on the stovetop.

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

pandemic brain = pregnancy brain

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

Trump not attending the inauguration is like when your mom makes you invite that person you can't stand to your birthday party, and they RSVP no.

[elaine oyzon(-mast) @elainebrain]

Dry January hasn't got a chance.