“elex”

an anti-AI account

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I’m gettin real tired of these tweets like “my 6 year old niece said” “this 90 year old couple I served said” “this stranger on the subway said” and then it’s a bunch of nonsense that they would never say to you

[“elex” @elexcaro]

THIS YEAR’S SOFTBALL GAME IS OUT NOW GO WATCH!

https://t.co/upe92QJ7JN

[Noah (The Black One) @NoahwiththeFroa]

LETS GOOO

[“elex” @elexcaro]

It’s officially that time of year again
GO CHECK OUT THE TRAILER

https://t.co/DWvTAbmx2T

[“elex” @elexcaro]

Preston would go get dp dough like once a month when we lived together and he got food poisoning literally every single time

[𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨 𝙂𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙚 @Chris_Grosse]

I still think about you.

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I worked a sales job for exactly 5 days and one of the things they made me do was write 10 material items I want to buy so that I had things in mind when I made my cold calls and would work harder to close/get commission. Some of the most uncomfortable few minutes of my life

[Kaze @Evren_sszn]

I hate when a job asks you to set "goals"

[Nate Capalot @LeNooshii]

LEBRON GAMES START A 7PM NOW OMG WE BACK

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[jimmy toots @futtywap]

LeBron announcing his return to the Eastern Conference

[“elex” @elexcaro]

Dwight Howard
- HUGE GAP -
Anthony Davis
Demarcus Cousins
Joel Embiid

[FanDuel Sportsbook @FDSportsbook]

In a heated debate, rank these 4 based on their PEAK.

[“elex” @elexcaro]

Sitting in the back of the theater reading a used copy for The Odyssey and ignoring the movie the entire time

[“elex” @elexcaro]

@sailor_skyy I had stunt track challenge as a kid and it is forever burnt into my psyche

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. He kept begging me to give him his car keys back when the nurses weren’t looking. “I’m not gonna eat ‘em. I swear to fucking god I’m not gonna fucking eat ‘em.” He ate them.

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. He begged my daughter for a hit of her blueberry flavored vape and then immediately vomited. We all had a good laugh, then discussed the war in Ukraine until he vomited again

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. He held my temples and cast a spell that, if I’ve done my research correctly, takes 30 years off my life and adds it to his. A worthy sacrifice for such a man.

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. Unfortunately I had to spend 55 minutes explaining to him that Dominique Wilkins doesn’t play in the NBA anymore. He was absolutely devastated.

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. He begged me, nearly in tears, to give him a low taper fade. It’s so inspiring to see someone who knows exactly what they want in life.

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. We cried, we laughed, we made sweet gentle love in the glow of the setting sun. He’s a much more generous lover than most people would expect.

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. I suggested he should assure his constituents that he’s alright and he stabbed me in the neck with a spork. “We did it to Charlie, we’ll do it to you too” he said. Funny guy.

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. Well, I guess “spoke” isn’t quite right. I stepped into a dark room and immediately heard his voice inside my head. Our thoughts became one. He insists this was all Iran’s fault.

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. He’s absolutely ripping one of those “Big” still floor pianos with two cigars in his mouth.

[“elex” @elexcaro]

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. There’s 16 dead goats in here. Nurses/people in cloaks said he woke back up after 3 but he insisted they keep going.