Rahmon Kabiru

[Rahmon Kabiru @elh_khalifa]

@Tufab 😂😂😂😂

[Adika @Adikastakes]

Real Madrid should better run from La Liga before Barcelona completely takes their lives. There’s no hope there, this Barcelona team is a gang of terrorists, Real Madrid has a better chance of winning AFCON or the World Cup than defeating Barca in La Liga

[Rahmon Kabiru @elh_khalifa]

@simply_lulu2 R

[Reno Omokri @renoomokri]

Before you conclude that Nigerians need fuel subsidy because petrol is too expensive, please be aware that according to Gallup Polls, Nigerians spend $2 billion (not Naira, dollars) annually gambling on sports betting, of which we only win less than $200 million. In other words, we are pudding away $1.8 billion. This is about the same amount of money our government was spending on fuel subsidy annually.

Please research it by yourself. Sixty million Nigerians spend $8 daily on pools and other forms of sports betting.

We also spend hundreds of millions of dollars annually on porn sites, and three million Nigerians invested and lost $30 million in the MMM Ponzi scheme.

If you remove emotions and study pure empirical data about how and where Nigerians spend their money, you won't even listen to the Joe Ajaero-led Nigerian Labour Congress's calls for a nationwide strike.

Yes, Nigeria is not the wealthiest country on Earth, but our major problem is priority, not poverty. And fuel subsidy removal will force us as a people to prioritise our monies to achieve better outcomes in our lives, as well as give governments at various levels an opportunity to spend public funds on infrastructure and social services, like education, that will help Nigerians make better financial decisions than spending our monies on gambling, pornography, and Ponzi schemes.

I know you are angry now. But am I lying? Truth is bitter, but better!

#TableShaker

[Reno Omokri @renoomokri]

Every Nigerian who graduates from university or polytechnic is guaranteed accommodation, job experience, and salary for a year, courtesy of the Federal Government, through the National Youth Service Corps.

America does not offer such opportunities to Americans.

Britain does not offer such opportunities to Britons.

Canada does not offer such opportunities to Canadians.

South Africa does not offer such opportunities to South Africans.

Saudi Arabia does not offer such opportunities to Saudi Arabians.

But Nigeria does. Nigeria also has one of the lowest tuition on Earth at her public universities, as well as one of the most funded government scholarship scheme on Earth through the Petroleum Technology Development Fund, Tertiary Education Trust Fund, and the Federal Scholarship Board.

But of course, when your eyes are determined to only look for bad things to see about Nigeria, you will not see these benefits. Your eyes will show you what your minds want it to see, because the challenge is your mindset about Nigeria, not necessarily Nigeria.

Watch other countries. You will notice that they attack their leaders, but they don't attack their country. They promote their nations. But in Nigeria, we attack our leaders by attacking our country. Leaders come and go, but Nigeria is forever.

#TableShaker

[Reno Omokri @renoomokri]

12 Similarities Between Peter Obi and Mmesoma Ejikeme.

https://t.co/8szqiZo1oV voted in Anambra. Mmesoma wrote JAMB in Anambra.
https://t.co/Zu26PTugnH won Lagos. Mmesoma's 1st, 2nd and 3rd choice of schools are in Lagos.
https://t.co/pXl03C9LnW insisted he won #NigerianElections2023. Mmesoma insisted she had the highest JAMB score.
https://t.co/pByds8QIIC claimed to be a youth at 62. Mmesoma claimed to be a minor at 19.
https://t.co/w9JX4hABgM blamed INEC glitch. Mmesoma blamed JAMB hitch.
https://t.co/rWdPEDmwKc did a broadcast vowing to reclaim his mandate. Mmesoma did a broadcast promising that her results were genuine.
7.Mmesoma's daddy said she was always crying over JAMB. Obi cried 'Yes, Daddy' over the election.
https://t.co/nAEMjsVrrc won 98% of Anambra's votes. The majority of Anambra supported Mmesoma.
https://t.co/osiSTukbgX went on TV to cry. Mmesoma cried on TV.
https://t.co/IVi2lV3xxQ's followers insulted everybody. Mmesoma's supporters attacked everyone.
https://t.co/lxvq4g1t8j lied that his brewery employs 60% of Anambra people. Mmesoma lied that she was the best pupil in Anambra.
12.IPOBy Ezekwesili said the certificate of return given to Tinubu belongs to Obi. IPOBy Ezekwesili said the highest score belongs to Mmesoma.

Moral of the story: Those who play emotional politics will always end in frustration, while those who play strategic politics will always end in dominion.

#TableShaker

[Tunde Wall’s🥶🇨🇦 @TundeWalls]

Prolly the Best Nigerian President so far

[Rahmon Kabiru @elh_khalifa]

@Adesvogue 🙄🙄

[nairamarley @officialnairam1]

From when I saw a player called ifa in tunisia team I knew we wasn’t gonna win. Referee head come be like orunmila 😡😡

[@Amir @A_Amir_01]

Never broke again don sell him iPhone 😭😭😭