Eli McElroy

man I love frisbee golf

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

Y’all ever hit the vape a little too long and start making your funeral playlist

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

@brzozowscy @tyler_mcduffee @RealTuggiefresh I agree, Paul. I fear for the midland painted turtles, however.

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

Just made aware that Kate Bush wasn’t singing “make a deal with god, and I’d get him to swear off racists”

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

Fuck it, boys. Let’s get snipped

[Charles Booker @Booker4KY]

My name is Charles Booker and I am the Democratic nominee for United States Senate in Kentucky.

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

@sad_villiany Recovery points 😤

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

@sad_villiany Gorgeous of course! But what about the mouth bangs 🥺

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

Lose your keys??
More like lose your heart to Alicia Keys’ Times Square performance in ‘16

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

Really thought that last one would gain more traction. Swing and a miss 😅

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

Is IBS transmittable? Tummy’s been a roll of the dice since college

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

I’ve spent the afternoon cleaning up and putting the crucial oils to use in all available diffusers. Then THIS thang defecates in her box negating the entire effort. She’s cute as shit, but gahdamn

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

Now that we don’t share a wall with neighbors, I can finally blare Issues by Julia Michaels

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

Your move @JamesGrzywacz

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

Finally finished collection 9 of Great British Baking Show 😩❤️

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

consciously hitting the lowercase key and deleting all punctuation to be more hip and funny

[Charles Booker @Booker4KY]

If you want me to defeat Rand Paul, hit RT.

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

@sortofbren for coming up with this banger

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

Lime-A-Rita by Brooks & Dunn

[Eli McElroy @eli_mcelroy]

@JamesGrzywacz Hear that, my mans. Someone’s gotta dipsy they po