elias khoury

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

The second best "asm" is "sarc."

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Whoever snuck the s in fast food is a clever bastard.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

If people could hear the next five seconds after I hit end on a call, I would all have no friends. #Truth

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

I've been told I've got A.D.H.D (Alcohol Drinking and Hangover Disorder)

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Well looks like Wikipedia has copied my homework again...

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

So are nuns in wheelchairs considered Virgin Mobile?

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

The amount of times I've had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable...You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Sometimes I want to ask certain people... "Did your house not come with any mirrors?"

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Someone needs to uninvent the internet so I can start getting some shit done.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

I just Awesomed all over the place!!!

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Avoid hangovers. Stay drunk. #DayDrinking

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me!

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

#ThatAwkwardMoment when you stretch in class and your inner porn star moan accidentally comes out...

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

#notbeingrudebut she's been on more wieners than Heinz Ketchup.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

#ThatAwesomeMoment when your friend hasn't seen your favorite YouTube video.

[elias khoury @eliaskhoury]

@clarachamoun U FREAKIN CHAMOUNA,I TOTALLY STALK UR TWITTER,LOV U A LOT 7MARA

[elias khoury @eliaskhoury]

@ledahdah major decision:glasses or lenses... OH GOD! CEPD...

[elias khoury @eliaskhoury]

@rachadmhawej mni7 bastard, missed u! Tryin to survive is what im doin...