*world where Scott and Chris Hansen swapped jobs*
Scott: “And we will cut to our Fresno sting house as a predator has just now arrived an- HE’S MAKING A RUN FOR IT AAAND TACKLED FROM BEHIND”
Chris: “What kind of sick, depraved man… reaches for the pylon… at the goal line?”
a funny little bill simmons-ism is that he never calls it “malice at the palace”. he 100% of the time always calls it “the artest melee”, a phrase that nobody else has ever uttered. it’s awesome how he has his own little phrases just for him to use.