elijah

hedonism low-key goated

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

I saw a video last night of someone eating a percy pig sandwich and it's stuck with me

I can't get the image of the textural nightmare that'd be out of my head

it'd be like swallowing a mouthful of chewing gum

actually disgusting

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

the thing I love about Noah Kahan is that every time you listen to him you get obsessed with a different song

Your Needs, My Needs is so fucking good

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

just had a coworker tell me she won't use teabags because there's microplastics in them

then she went out for a cigarette

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

My new job is so much better. Even if someone calls in sick there's still enough staff, problems are managed quickly, customers are nicer, nothing is my fault, I'm not in literal DANGER from teenagers etc.

But despite this every commute to work fills me with dread

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

I think I must have trauma from my old job because every time I'm on my way to work I can't shake the fear that everything's going to be chaos and I'm gonna get told off for something and I'm gonna have to call the police and I'm gonna have to stay late and everything is my fault

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

@fizzymydy @Sootyandco loving the sausage tweets

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

celery

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

currently thinking about that guy I met on gmod 18 years ago who pretended to have a girlfriend and when we asked her to speak he put on a comedy girl voice and pretended to be a girl

it's like something out of a movie

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

It actually scares me what people will do when they know they're anonymous and won't have to face any consequences for their actions

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

men are actually pigs, I'm so sick of having to share public toilets with people who are okay with just leaving piss all over the toilet seat and the floor

who raised these animals

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

how can these people be okay knowing someone else is going to have to wipe up their cold piss before they can use the toilet, I swear this is a level of selfishness and laziness that needs medicating

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

@fizzymydy Wanna go to Spoons

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

Why are AI companies telling the world that what they created might kill us all?

Why are you telling us?? Unplug it?? End it?? FIX IT??

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

@xgabegottliebx I don't like this one because it's not just a demonstration of grammar, it's deliberately trying to be confusing.

Why did the boy DIE from being scratched? It makes no sense. The word scratched is used to make us think about the cat just to be confusing.

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

@OlegKrutikov @BlaireWhite Would you feel the same if a male serial killer said his motive was to save their victims from suffering?

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

@mrnastynodrama You think this is a woke take, but really you're just infantilising people who don't speak English. They're just as deserving of criticism for using AI as anyone else.

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

Uber One has got to be the most useless subscription out there

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

Spotify should update profiles to be more like the Letterboxd of music

I wanna have a Top 4, I wanna rate things, I wanna write reviews, make lists etc.

This just seems like an open goal and I don't understand why they won't do it

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

being drunk and high and watching cars 2 for the first time was wild

it was literally a fever dream. why was it a 60s spy movie. why

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

I'm sorry but I feel like I just deserved those tickets more than most, and the universe was on my side for once and made it work out for me

[elijah @elijahlamb97]

I can't believe how easy it was for me to get Noah tickets compared to all the people I'm seeing online

I just went on at 10am, waited 10 mins in the queue, then bought some. It didn't even feel like I was in a war.