.

You can find me at the bar trying to convince the bartender to change one of the TV's to Impractical Jokers.

[. @ElizabethErinn]

I love being in the ocean with goggles. I’ve found 6 other pairs of goggles in the ocean thanks to my goggles. I gave them to families around me so they can find more goggles and give them to their friends. I’m running a goggle pyramid scheme. I belong here.

[. @ElizabethErinn]

@AskDelta_team @C5MCrewDog1 @delta don't mind his opinion. He was calling women bitches and liking racist posts the entire flight. I'd be more concerned if he DID approve of your service. The flight attendants are lovely and most people on board realize a 1 hour flight never has drink service…

[Rotimi Adeoye @_rotimia]

I’m happy you’ve had a change of heart, I think you should apologize for this?

[hannah @dogfanhan]

an “April fools prank”?? Oh, you mean a Lie??? like the sin???

[𝘱𝘪𝘹𝘪𝘦 @hardcandyIaw]

everyone going "bc he didn't care about his inn-"
a capitalist corporation fabricated his grief so they could manipulate him into getting severed. it was never his choice to begin with. plus he just rescued his wife who was TORTURED for years. so yes. he deserves this more to me.

[Tim Miller @Timodc]

Exciting!

[Pete Buttigieg @PeteButtigieg]

From an operational security perspective, this is the highest level of fuckup imaginable. These people cannot keep America safe.

[. @ElizabethErinn]

Not only this, but it’s also possible that Gemma doesn’t even know Severance fully exists. From what we know, she was kidnapped before it became super common, right?

[Zac Mabry @ZacMabry]

Your outie financed a cheesy gordita crunch.

[zoë✨ @zoer86]

trying to explain the barkley marathon every year makes me feel crazy. like yes he lit his cig in the mountains of tennessee so now i have to turn notifs on for a random man on twitter #BM100

[. @ElizabethErinn]

@maryzheng_ plz make merch with your “committing to the bit” quote I’ll buy so much

[J @BigJamzLdn]

Saddest thing about barely anyone wanting kids is some of the best people I know aren’t having them whilst some superdemons are having 7.

[Trey Ferguson @PastorTrey05]

In the wilderness, Satan offered Jesus provision, protection, and power.

Jesus leaned on the Divine for those instead.

In our time, Satan offered us provision, protection, and power.

>80% of the white evangelical church said sign me up.

We need to bring shame back.

[matt @evictionnominee]

Sai: This is for my Grandma

Jeff Probst in my head: Any votes for Sai's grandma will not count

#survivor #survivor48

[John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang]

Um, they’re not even ashamed of the Confederacy yet.

[Cris ✨ @lionesspike]

i was trying to think of the most equitable way for innies & outies to peacefully coexist like “maybe one week on, one week off” and then realized that’s just the plot of the substance

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

stomachache hour 7

[caiden @golddusttwoman]

and she succeeded