Peter G. Parker

Be aware. I'm not actually Peter Parker, but I'm just as cool.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

Who would win in a fight? Asking for a friend.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

Crazy to think it's been 8 years since they changed the green skittle from lime to apple.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

When 2020 is in history books later down the road they are totally going to leave out the part where people went ape shit over toilet paper.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

Life tip:
If you haven't watch the roast of @FlavorFlav from 07 are you even living life?
*SPOILER ALERT*
the answer is no.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

I disliked high school talent shows where kids would play piano and say "I'll be playing Sébastien bach in the 5th key." like we were 16 17 if you're not going to slam the keys playing Bennie and the jets or piano man why was I even there?

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

There is someone out there, that's number one turn off is they prefer pulp.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

Growing up is all about getting old and realizing allot more people you know do coke.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

In case anyone was curious, no my profile isn't a professional head shot that I paid for. It's just me taking a Stanley steamer on the toilet.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

What in the cinnamon toast fuck?

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

There's way too much panic and not nearly enough disco right now.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

In life you have 2 choices. Either you lean with it or you rock with it.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

What are the all american rejects up to these days....they don't have a Twitter, I tried asking them.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

There are more people walking down middle street now than there were before this pandemic...

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

@LauraaaMedeiros Twice.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

I think fitness people need to stop putting up what they make for meal on their stories. I'm sorry but I don't care about your vanilla pudding with bananas on it, it's not impressive and it's called snack packs....I think

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

See i understand if you live across the country but if you live near me I shouldn't be one out of seven grandkids who show up.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

Hey can someone help me out here!? I'm trying to figure out what religion validates the fact that you don't have to show up to your mother/grandmother's service?

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

Let me rephrase this. I am going to the service. I just asking about my family to explain their absence.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

Anyone else beat their meat to drops of jupiter??
No... OK I'll just Chalk that up as one so far.

[Peter G. Parker @ElizardoGreg]

Not gonna lie, Jake Gyllenhaal is a pretty handsome man