Elke Thoms

writer • comedian • the side-eye next door •🎙️“Banging It Out with Elke Thoms” podcast

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

Hate that when reading a romance book where two characters go to take a bath together and it’s mentioned that the room has no windows, all I can think is, “so mold is a problem”

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

I’ve never understood “go f*ck yourself,” it’s like, you want me to “go have a delightful time”?

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

My coffee shop was playing Scream from High School Musical 3 at 8am if anyone was wondering where I’m at mentally

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

The first two sips of coffee will have me like, “actually maybe it’s cool I’m chronically ill”

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

Adulthood for me is having a UPS I like more than the one closest to me, so I go out of my way to go to my preferred one as a little treat

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

Just paid a parking ticket online and the City of Los Angeles asked if I was a robot first. Please let the record show I consent to all robots who want to pay my parking tickets.

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

See: Wi$h Li$t and Actually Romantic

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

Showgirl is @taylorswift13’s biggest departure because instead of just singing that she loves cats, she starts BEEF with dogs.

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

BANGING IT OUT is OUT today! Listen to the pod on Spotify + Apple Podcasts, and watch now on YouTube. Let’s get the chop. 💇🏼‍♀️

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

New episodes biweekly. See you in the salon chair. 💇🏼‍♀️🖤

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

HOLD ON TO YOUR BANGS because my brand new podcast, “Banging It Out with Elke Thoms” premieres on @ilovebigcomedy this Saturday, February 15. We’ve all heard about getting bangs after a breakup, but is that really why you got them?

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

I’m diving into your wildest hair changes and I’m not afraid to ask the hard questions your parents probably already screamed at you—WHY?! WHY?! Starting Saturday, you can hear it on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, stream it on YouTube, and be bombarded with clips here.

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

I can tell LA is feeling down because everyone is letting me merge.

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

I realize it’s early September, but as a Los Angeleno I’m arriving in a turtleneck—you can never be too careful. See you soon, Portland Maine Comedy Festival! Tickets in my bio or at https://t.co/EoQtQIodQA 🫡

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

Okay but when the Olympics are in LA and a little earthquake throws off a gold medal volleyball game what then

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

So excited to be performing in the @ashevillecomedy Festival in August! You can find tickets at https://t.co/9JiQpfU6Tt or up your Ashe.

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

How do you like them apples? I’m coming back to Boston baby!!! An absolute HONOR to play @BostComedyFest in the city where I first got up. See you soon Beantown!

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

Being an eldest daughter is like thinking you’re going to camp, and then showing up and realizing you’re the counselor

[Elke Thoms @elkethoms]

Me, waking up after yet another one of my absolutely CRAZY, UNHINGED birthday parties:

“Did I… agree to go to a ren faire last night?”