Ella

[vikram, aur.b., (et al.) @PottyTrainedLad]

in between the nothingburger and the everything bagel, there is a place—I will meet you there

[erin @erndromeda]

don’t talk to me while i’m eating carrots i’m not hearin a thing u say it’s so loud in here

[ℌ @wiik_2]

فضفضت لصديقتي وواستني
بعدها فضفضتلي وواسيتها

[tasman @lildorothy_]

damn shawty have you considered the ramifications

[Chris @citehchris]

maybe putting 500mg of caffeine in your body will help with your anxiety. there’s really no way to know

[Kattoo King @SimplyKattoo]

The alcohol in a martini should be enough to kill the parasite in my ceasar salad, and then I'll pair it with fries, which are safe

[grace @gracefishlove]

Fuck that guys groceries are way cooler than mine

[zoe @lestertoes]

being 9 really is the most important age, because at that age u will create a password that u will use for the rest of ur life

[🪩🎲🍒 @expired_grl]

maybe your cat is meowing bc it wants a cigarette

[Marlboro Apologist @CyclicalYearner]

Horror game where your only source of light is when you hit your vape

[tt✮⋆ @Bluebirdeyessss]

I love the word "interesting" cuz it's so chaotically neutral

[Big Timi @OrevaZSN]

Having an unemployed friend to text during work is so important. They’re like the window in your prison cell.

[hani @crucifynisis]

ragebaiting and bantering is a form of bonding

[Aaron! @c6_shanky]

You take for granted the humble car napkin until you really need one

[erika @yeeeerika]

"you're hard to read" unfortunately we are experiencing a literacy crisis

[Kiwi @ChineseCheese]

Eating-speed gap relationship

[ovary ✨ @ovaryactorr]

microdosing pto by dissociating at work

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

You'd rather I beat a live horse? A horse with a family? With a career? With its best years still ahead of it? You're sick.