★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡

22 | they/them • sw/hw: 225, cw: 153, ugw: 110 • diagnosed arfid • tw: edtwt •*.

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i can’t believe i’m turning 23 soon, i feel like im so behind in life for my age

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i’ve been eating to the point i feel sick recently. i hate it so much but i can’t stop it

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

tomorrow i’m just going to have my alani and not eat until i get home. that’s a start

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i’ve been so depressed lately which has resulted in me turning to food for comfort and routine. i desperately want to get out of this cycle but it’s so hard

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i love pushing people away when i need them and then being sad when they’re not there hhhahahaa

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i wish someone would tell me

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

genuinely just don’t understand what’s wrong with me that makes people not like me

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i kinda wanna kms so then everyone in my life feels bad they didn’t try and help me :)

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

do i be honest w my therapist and risk her sending me to hospital !!!!?

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i know it’s getting bad when i can’t get from my door to my bed because there’s piles of clothes and random shit on the floor

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i dunno what to do everything feels awful

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i was supposed to be dead before i was 18. i didn’t plan any of this shit out, i’m not supposed to be here and now i don’t know how to act. i’m so goddam miserable in this mind and in this body.

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i truly can’t do this shit anymore. i have no friends, no one likes me. i can’t make decisions without having a panic attack. im disgusting looking. there’s truly something wrong with me. i’ve felt this my whole life and it never ends. i just want to end it all honestly

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

sry not looking for pity just can’t tell anyone this irl and need to vent somewhere

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

genuinely the worst week i’ve had in awhile

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i’m starting my new job soon and i’m excited but also nervous cause it’s not nearly as active as my current one :/ i rely on my job for steps i don’t wanna have to make up for it later

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

no more omads cause the new meds im on require me to take it w food :/
took it with a fiber one brownie the other day and was fine so ima just keep doing that

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

i’m so tired lately

[★ ellen ⋆˚꩜｡ @ellenishungry]

god i absolutely hate myself so much