Eileen Police

I look straight at what’s coming ahead, and soon, it’s gonna change in a new direction.

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

😭😭😭I need it noooooooow. @TarheelRunner4

[Jenny LeClue, Mirria, & More! @MografiGames]

Jenny LeClue 2 as well as other games are in the works! Get excited for adventure! 🤓🤓🤓

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

My daughter has started this super fun thing where she picks up her feet/legs& slams down as hard as she can into her mattress.
She waits until I just fall over the edge of sleep & then
SLAM.
So I wake up in a panic.
Every. Time.

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

Instagram has this “save” button where you can “add pictures to a collection.”
It’s something I click by accident ALL the time bc I scroll with my right thumb ....
Turns out I have saved 8 random photos from diff accounts & I probably seem like the world’s BIGGEST fkin creep.

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

@emilynomial I feel this so hard.
Except 10 years later. 💕🔥

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

Update: I did use this the next day. I unfolded it slowly & the nurse said, “I should have no problem reading that.”
But they didn’t scan it & for every OB appointment until maybe end of September they asked me for a copy& it was literally like my 3rd to last when I brought one.

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

I needed to print a new copy of my insurance card & I printed it right from my phone ... & it printed an 8.5”x11” card.

I’m using it tomorrow. Will update how the reaction goes.

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

Queen of Jordan is the best.
“It’s my way til payday.”

[Netflix @netflix]

People do like the way she says ham.

Listen to @SherriEShepherd on @strongblacklead's Strong Black Laughs podcast: https://t.co/o6u6Re2Vt1

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

@frednoodle Idk where this came from either! Mystery illness, since I’m at home with a healthy baby ...
Unless she’s a witch ....what if she conjured up this sickness ....

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

Christmas of 2012
I got the stomach flu & it was so bad to the point where every food related commercial made me vomit.
December of 2019
I have a fever & I go from burning to freezing AND I can’t look at or think about food.
#fun
These are hard times.

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

Fun fact: I came home from work that fateful day in 2012, there was a leftover sandwich my brother had brought home from a restaurant.
I rudely decided, fuck it, I’m eating this.
My brother didn’t finish it bc he has the stomach flu & that’s how I got it. So karma is real.

[Eva Victor @evavictor]

when my husband gets me a Peleton for Christmas ........

[Trevor Williams @MeLlamoTrevor]

@fran_cervelli 💘

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

Omg @TarheelRunner4 is this your brother though? #unclecritter

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

My baby was decked out in your typical swaddle blanket& a plain white hat... wtf. I feel so cheated.

[Rick Dayton @rickdayton]

Six babies decked out in handmade cardigan sweaters honor the legacy of Fred Rogers on #WorldKindnessDay. They are newborns at Magee-Women’s Hospital in Pittsburgh. Fred’s wife Joanne came to see the babies.

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

For Christmas, if someone wants to gift us a bed that moves.. I’m into it.
Like a sleep number or some shit.
HMU if you’re rich and ready to make a donation to my charity EBE
(Eileen’s Burning Esophagus)
#sponsoredbyibuprofen

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

Sometimes we get lucky and our beautiful angel baby will sleep 4-5 hours at a time, which is magic and glory

Tonight is one of those times, but I can’t enjoy it bc my 52 year old ass has acid reflux and I can’t lay down without my insides burning and smoldering.
#thanksage

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

💕💕💕this man is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.
Our baby is the best thing that’s ever happened to us. 🌈

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

@MarylandMudflap I would love a coozie!
Who knew our honesty about the importance of wedding alcohol could pay off?

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

Lol who knew the answer was
“Your contractions will be starting in 27.5 hours.” #thebabycamesusan

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

I want people to stop asking me:

“So when is the baby coming?”

Idfk Susan. If I did, I wouldn’t be so cranky and miserable af, okay?
There is no “prediction,” stop letting people think that.

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

@MarylandMudflap My save the dates actually said
“We have an open bar. What more did you want?”
so, some of us are cool, I guess.

[Eileen Police @ellep421]

I want people to stop asking me:

“So when is the baby coming?”

Idfk Susan. If I did, I wouldn’t be so cranky and miserable af, okay?
There is no “prediction,” stop letting people think that.