Ellie Schumann

taking the phrase stay in school way too seriously

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

Me: I think I'm going to cut my hair
6 yo I babysit: *gasp* no you can't cut your hair Miss Ellie
Me: why? I thought it might be nice to have a change.
6: go change your pants then. those ones have holes anyways.

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

I poured two glasses of wine thinking I was so sweet and cute and my husband would appreciate it after working the late shift. But, he took way longer to get home than I thought he would so I drank them both. #marriage amirite

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

@akiredarlingg You know that's my wish every year. I can't believe you revealed my secret.

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

lol no

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

Just found out my dad has childhood friends, who are brothers, named Kent, Brent, and Martin. Incredible.

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

@mariahkretch Boo

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

If you were wondering if you can take a toasted English muffin with peanut butter through tsa, the answer is yes

[Mena Subaru @andyateacrayon]

Donald Trump being airlifted to Walter Reed. Wow.

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

The kids i babysit go to private school and...

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

It was below 80° today and I wore jeans and a sweatshirt. I think I have acclimated to Florida weather. Pls send help

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

Our downstairs neighbors have opened a club. Not really, but the bass is poppin.

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

7 yo I babysit, v seriously, "Miss Ellie, I'm so amazing. I'm so good. I'm great. Like I am just the best."

We really need to work on his self worth issues.

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

@mariahbethh I feel like this is me in the car singing every part to a song. Someone has to carry the team

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

I would rather have a hurting back than suffocate in the night --me on memory foam mattresses

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

Me: let's color for a little bit.

7 yo boy: what should we color?

Me: anything you want! Maybe the Easter bunny? Or things you see in springtime?

7:

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

@ajkueterman

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

6 yo I babysit: I'm coloring snow!
Me: why is it green?
6: I don't have white and green is closest to white.
Me: ...
6: ... *patiently waiting for some kind of response*
Me: ... ok???

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

"There are no beaches in Florida" says the 6 yo I babysit with the utmost confidence.

[Ellie Schumann @ellieshoe]

Wow, it is NOT a good time to have a cough.