Elliot

Writer

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

Still lazy after all these years

[𝒿 ♡ @gembabezxxx]

verified as a horny weirdo

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@choptopmoseley 100% could play the neighbor in a Home Alone prequel set in 1976

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

Happy National Tropical Fruit Day

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@DyerbolicalDB Someone has already turned that into an expensive Air BNB. You just have to ring the doorbell and ask for your keys back

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@BDisgusting I vote Adrien Brody as Ichabod Crane

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@AndrewGrevas

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@nypost Pigeon went too far partying at a rave

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@nypost Not smiling at all and barely smiling, the signature expression of a happy couple

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@DiscussingFilm Many years ago, with no clue his candy would one day be used for the slang term “Hershey Highway”

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@davidwain @KenMarino so many laughs in Gail Daughtry. Also I love the “Dummy” song from The Ten so much that I own it on iTunes, it was great hearing it again

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

Boundaries got too trendy, and now I’ve gotta rebel against it by randomly showing up at my friends houses and jumping into their beds while they’re sleeping

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@Insanevidz_ The ASU sweater…she’s still got the classic Mill Ave behavior inside her 😂

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

Mormons be like “my favorite horror movie is Heckraiser.”

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

Being a little hungover will have you rewatching a random 2009 rom com to feel relaxed

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@222rubie Happy Birthday!

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@MissyXMartinez Happy Birthday! 🎉

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

You’re not goth until the darkness calls you

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

This tiki bar has boobs in the restroom

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@gembabezxxx Meanwhile in Phoenix….

[Elliot @elliotcomedy]

@Adora2000 The correct answer is Ruth’s Chris Steak House