Dad Jokes

Make like a tree and fuck off

[Dad Jokes @ellopapet]

Fix. It. Again. Tony

[Donut Operator 🍩 @DonutOperator]

Just as the founding fathers intended

[Geekdom101 @EmperorBigD]

Now this is a story all about how,
my wife got fucked and I'm not proud,
and I'd like to take a minute to adjust my jock,
and tell you how I became a meme by smacking Chris Rock

[Dream @Dream]

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! lots of love :)

[Chad Johnson @ochocinco]

Any establishment that uses 1 ply toilet tissue doesn’t really care about its customers……

[Dad Jokes @ellopapet]

@Doritos can we get the Fiery Habanero chips back please

[Marques Brownlee @MKBHD]

Alright, I'll be giving away this $10,000 Gucci XBox to a follower who retweets this in the next 24 hours. I'll ship it anywhere on earth. Good luck.

Here's what's inside: https://t.co/Mung64czZs

[Dad Jokes @ellopapet]

@NVIDIAGeForce I’ll be sure to do that with my 308... oh wait. They are double the price. Can’t get one

[VTEKZ (say you do out now) @_VTEKZ]

Highlights from my show @ NOTO Philadelphia 8-13-21

[Dad Jokes @ellopapet]

@NVIDIAGeForce Probably Minecraft if I’m honest #RTXOn

[MrBeast @MrBeast]

In 24 hours I’m going to give one random person that retweets this tweet $10,000 in Bitcoin! (Yup, gonna experiment with this instead of cash haha) Make sure you follow me so I can dm you if you win :)

[MrBeast @MrBeast]

I’m going to give 5 people that retweet this tweet $10,000 each to celebrate Christmas! (Make sure you follow me so I can dm you if you win!). I will show proof!

[Luke Thomas🏋️‍♀️ @lthomasnews]

When MMA Twitter tries to play the games they get away with on MMA Twitter in real life.

[Dad Jokes @ellopapet]

#DevonIsOverParty

[NVIDIA GeForce @NVIDIAGeForce]

Our #GiftAGamer Holiday Contest Ultimate Prize! 🌟💚🎁

Win a GeForce RTX 3090 for you and a friend!
1. RT this photo.
2. Tell us about the person you always go to for PC building or hardware advice (and tag them!) in the replies with #GiftAGamer
3. If selected, you BOTH win!

[Dad Jokes @ellopapet]

@NVIDIAGeForce I got my boy @DevinDevinc11

[Dad Jokes @ellopapet]

@NVIDIAGeForce @PopSci One giant leap for scalpers to make money instead of gamers actually playing with them

[Dad Jokes @ellopapet]

@NVIDIAGeForce Man I can’t wait to play this game on my RTX 3080...IF I HAD ONE

[Tim Pool @Timcast]

"Willing same-sex minors"

holy fuck what

[Dad Jokes @ellopapet]

@BethBullan

[MrBeast @MrBeast]

I’m going to give 10 random people who retweet this tweet $10,000 EACH! You must be following @Pulte and me so we can dm you if you win $10,000! Ends in 72 hours, will show proof ❤️